


makin’ a move

by demndays



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Squip, Gaming Channel, M/M, Some angst, Youtuber AU, jeremy has helped design a game lol, jeremy is an artist though, jeremy is still a mess, rich is a gym trainer because i said so, storytime channel, theyre adults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-07-14 13:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demndays/pseuds/demndays
Summary: jeremy didn’t understand why that channel was there, but he still clicked away.





	1. recommended

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fin!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=fin%21).



> hey!! just felt like writing an actual fic because i haven't in a while so Hi. also the title is totally a twrp song so check them out uwu

  Jeremy's eyes scan the screen, his breath shallow as he'd just finish his personal business. He was kind of bored out of his mind, too. Being a freelance web-comic artists tends to do that, especially when his hands hurt like _hell_. He hasn't been on YouTube in a while, he could do that. Going to his bookmarks, he clicks on the website and continues to browse for a while. Sheesh, this was boring, too. Well, it was until a title piqued his interest. That's odd, why did he get recommended a gaming channel? Either way, he clicked it without reading much into it. The video opens up with a Filipino guy enthusiastically exclaiming that he's finally found a video idea. Jeremy smiles slightly, and he continues to watch. Then, he realizes what the video is really about. This guy reviews games, plays them and shit, and then uploads videos on this site. Sure, he doesn't have a problem with it; he's a freelance artist again. He only has an issue with the fact that the extremely cute guy has reviewed a game he worked on  _years_ ago. 

   The poor guy had to sit through a game that was so awfully put-together. "Fuck," Jeremy mumbles when he hears the guy start going in to design and what he thought about it. 

 _"Man, guys, whoever helped design the characters, you deserve an award. Listen, all of the dudes helped me ensure I am one-hundred percent gay."_ Jeremy can't help but chuckle at that. He was kinda going for that when he worked on them. Maybe Jeremy could say thanks? It seemed like a normal thing people do. What if that's too weird, though? Getting a comment from someone saying, "Yeah, I worked on that game. By the way, you're hella cute," _might_ be a little weird. Maybe scratch the last part. Still, it seems too weird. 

   He dwells on it all throughout the rest of the video. He really wants to just say thanks. With a large sigh, he goes to the comment section. He notices his leg is bouncing like crazy. Curse him and his disaster bisexual behavior. Damn, he needs to get a grip. Fuck it, he's just going to go for it. He types out a small message. 

    ** _Jeremy Heere commented:_**

_Hey, I'm Jeremy. I worked on this game, and basically designed the characters. I'm glad my plan went successful; love making people gay. Anyways, this was probably weird, but have a good day, dude! Feel free to message me anywhere, I guess._

   He added the last part after looking at the send button for a solid minute. He thinks this guy could be a good friend. He just hopes he doesn't think he's... too weird. 

   He mashes the enter button, getting it over with and he slams his laptop shut. Jeremy should get some rest anyways; lots of work needs to be done tomorrow. 

 ✶✶✶

   Pain surges through Jeremy's hand. Guess that's a sign he should take a break from all the drawing he's been doing. Jeremy doesn't want to stop, but he has to or else he'll probably never even be able to draw. Ironic, huh? His mind wanders a bit. It's been a few days since he's gone on YouTube again. Ever since that comment he left, he's been a little nervous to even look at anything. He's too afraid that he made the dude uncomfortable or some weird shit. Oh, good God, he should probably check for his own sake. It will only drive him crazy if he  _doesn't_ check it. 

  He logs in to the website, feeling his nerves rise the closer he gets to witnessing his own doom. He finally is able to get his password right, and immediately looks to see if anything has happened. Oh,  _God._ He takes a deep breath in and clicks on the notification. 

_**PlayerOne replied to your comment:** _

_Hey, Jeremy! I think it's totally fucking rad that you've worked on a game, dude. Just so you know, I'll totally be hitting you up somewhere lmao_

  Fuck. It's like a ringtone that never ends in his head:  _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK_. How does he respond to  _that_? Does he just... play it off? Act cool? What the fuck do people do in these situations? He works on a game he thought would help him pay off art school, but now he's stuck with both that and now this awkward encounter with a YouTuber he knows  _nothing_ about. Maybe he can shoot Rich a text. 

_**To: Rich**  
_

_**From: Jeremy** _

_alright, listen, man. i found a video and shit on youtube and this guy reviews shit. so, remember that game i told you about like, three years ago? he reviewed it and he was like "lol the characters make me gay" and i commented and shit and he replied, how the fuck do i reply to his reply?? pls help_

  It isn't long until his phone dings. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich**_

_oh my FUCKING god, dude. im fucking laughing. just give him your number or something, but not on public internet. dm him or some shit._

  Jeremy grimaces at his phone slightly. It might be easy for Rich, but he knows it won't be easy for him. He takes a deep breath and just goes for it. He finds if this guy has a Twitter or  _something_ and he does. 

  He almost regrets making the decision to comment on his video, but there really isn't anyway to just go, "Hey, man, fucked up and I never want to talk to you," because it just isn't true. Jeremy shoots him a message that held his phone number in. He realizes he doesn't even know his name. Good God, he's a mess. 

  Jeremy hears his phone go off on his desk, and he reaches for it. It was a text from a number he doesn't know. 

**_To: Jeremy_ **

**_From: Unknown_ **

_Hey dude its playerone from that youtube video. my name's michael if you want to save it as that lmao. i obviously saw your message from twitter_

  Jeremy beams at his phone. Michael... his name is Michael... Shit. He sounds like a teenage girl developing a fucking  _crush_. How could he even do that? He discovered who Michael is only like, what, four days ago? Either way, he should reply before Michael thinks he has the wrong number.  _  
_

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_hey, its jeremy from the internet. sorry for responding a little late haha got caught up in work_

_**To: Jeremy**  
_

_**From: Michael** _

_that reminds me, dude! what do you do now? you still work with games and shit?_

  Jeremy giggled to himself over the smooth replies he got. Michael must do this often. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_nah i don't work on games anymore. kinda my own stuff, now. i thought about doing more stuff on youtube, but i'm already so behind on commissions etc etc_

  Was that too much? Does Michael really want to know that kind of stuff? Jeremy's brought out of his train of thought when he feels his phone vibrate in his hand. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_aw man :( hope you get a random burst of inspiration and finish all your work. also you should totally go for the whole youtube thing! im not doing too bad. i could even help!_

  Jeremy smiles again. Michael is so kind, and he doesn't really even know who Jeremy  _is_. For all Michael knew, Jeremy could be some lunatic with boots made out of human flesh or something. Thankfully, he's  _not_ , but it's a thought. 

✶✶✶

  Jeremy has absolutely no regrets about staying up all night talking to Michael. Luckily for him, Michael didn't seem to care. They eventually had talked about how Jeremy is up in New Jersey, same with Michael. Jeremy so desperately wanted to ask if Michael wanted to hang out, but he felt weird about it. How do you even bring it up? Maybe it's something he'll let Michael do. They didn't only talk about New Jersey, they talked about how Jeremy is bisexual, and Michael being gay. After that, they talked about most of their failed relationships. A lot of Michael's stories made him laugh, so he immediately always responded with “LMAO.” He probably worried his neighbors. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_dunno if youre up but good morning man, gonna work on some commissions i guess_

  Jeremy sets his phone down and pulls up everything he needs to get started. sadly, he's interrupted by his phone vibrating rapidly, screaming at him to answer the goddamn call. Jeremy glances at the caller ID and sees Christine's name pop up. Oh. He should answer it. 

  "Hey, Christine," he greets.

   _"Hey, Jere. You still up for lunch with Rich and I?"_

  "Yeah, of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Jeremy says cheerily, knowing that Christine would give a small chuckle at it. 

  Christine is the one to end the conversation,  _"Gotta go. Don't want to keep you from anything. Bye, Jeremy."_

  He gives a short bye and then continues on with he had originally planned to spend the day with. He sighs and lets the time pass by with silence as he scribbles out rough sketches. 

✶✶✶

  Jeremy gets up from his chair whenever his alarm pleads for him to get up. He snatches his phone from its place on his desk and hits cancel so it would stop. Slipping on a simple shirt, jeans, Converse, and a blue cardigan, Jeremy is on his way to the diner Rich wanted to try out this week. He fears he's running late since he ignored the alarm a couple times, so he steps on the gas just a tad more than he should. 

  Shortly after, he arrives and sees Christine waving him over. A grin evident on his face, he sits down next to her. The brunette stirs up a conversation best he can, "So," he takes a breath in, "how are you guys? I know I like, just talked to you guys yesterday and today, but I don't think I asked." 

  "I have a hot date tomorrow," Rich quips proudly. 

  "Care to go on?" Jeremy smirks at Rich. 

  Rich snorts at Jeremy and just looks to Christine, "You tell him who it is. I don't want to be the one getting all the questions."

  Christine rolls her eyes, but obliges. "He's going on a date with Jake Dillinger. Some other people set them up together." 

  Jeremy pauses. "Wait, you mean  _the Jake Dillinger_? Guy-From-YouTube Jake Dillinger?" 

  Rich and Christine nod in unison. Jeremy just exhales sharply. He was about to say something, when their waiter came over to take an order for their drinks and give them more time to figure out what the hell they want to eat. 

  "Anyways," Rich's lisp is clear as day, "I don't know what he's gonna think of me once he sees me in person; FaceTune does wonders, bro." 

   Both Christine and Jeremy laugh, knowing that Rich wasn’t meaning to be down on himself in a way. It was still a funny joke, so Jeremy would apologize later if Rich ever has a problem.

  Jeremy isn't sure if Rich has told Christine about Michael, he probably wouldn't have. It's Rich, he's good at keeping things to himself. If it were that storytime YouTuber Jenna Rolan, hell no. He decides to talk to them both about it. 

  "So, uh," he successfully grabs the attention of his friends, "I'm, uh, talking to this guy. He's a YouTuber, so Rich talking about his date with Jake Dillinger... it reminded me." He looks to see if his friends want to chime in. Rich's face says it all:  _Let me ask questions, Heere._

  Jeremy sighs, and Rich goes all out. "Are you  _talking_ talking or is it friendly banter?" 

  Jeremy's face goes red. "More of a, uh, friendly banter? But, I wouldn't mind flirting?" his voice goes higher the more he spoke about Michael. 

  Christine shoots a smirk to Rich. "So, Jere, what's his name?" 

  Jeremy's redness only got worse, "Michael." 

  Rich budges in, "Last name?"

  The young adult responds abruptly, "I don't know. It begins with an M, I think..." his voice got quieter, instead of the shrill voice from before. 

  Rich and Christine swap glances again. They really enjoy torturing him, huh? 

  "Now I want to watch a video, see if he's suitable for our dear Jeremy." Christine says and gives him a fake pouty lip. 

  "I... Are you sure? I'll send you some videos, I guess..." 

  Goranski kicks Jeremy under the table to get his attention. "Invite him out sometime." 

  "N-no! We've really only been talking for, like, a day! That's... really quick." His voice really wants to just squeak at this point. His blush wasn't getting any better. He always tries to accomplish this whenever the other two talk about anyone they're interested in, but fails miserably. They always succeed. 

  Rich smiles at Christine. Oh,  _God no_. Rich got an idea. "Give me your phone, Jeremy." 

  "Why should I?" Jeremy inquires, his face beginning to go back to its natural complexion. 

  "Just give it," Rich demands, holding his hand out. 

  Jeremy gives in. He really shouldn't have. 

  Next thing he knew, when he got his phone back he saw one message. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy**_

_hey, this might be weird, but do you wanna maybe go out sometime?? just let me know :)_

One word repeats in his brain:  _Fuck._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hope u don’t hate this lol i tried to edit and then my brain got tired after my computer decided to be Dumb.


	2. nerves

  It wasn't shortly after that they fell under silence. Everyone thought Jeremy was pissed. Jeremy looks Rich dead in the eyes. "Rich," Rich chuckles to himself. " _Rich_. What if he rejects me and I look like a total loser, ya know? What if he thinks I'm weir—" Jeremy's interrupted by his phone. He looks at it with obvious fear. He immediately tosses it back to Rich. "Read me the text, I'm too much of a pussy to do it myself." 

  Rich rolls his eyes. "Whatever you want, dude," Rich reads the text to himself, seeing if he needs to brace Jeremy. "Just says 'When and where?' See, nothin' to worry about!" 

  Christine's eyes shine with excitement. "Invite him here! I'm willing to stay while longer if it means we get to meet Michael." 

  "But, what if his schedule doesn't fi—"

  "Jeremy, he's a  _YouTuber._ I think we're good." Rich states plainly and texts Michael the address. After handing the phone back to Jeremy, he saw a glimpse of messages with his name. "Wait a minute, what have you been saying about me, asshole?" It's in a teasing tone, but it still makes Jeremy flinch. 

  Jeremy's voice gets soft, "It's just stories about us when we were in high school, dude. Chill." 

  "I wasn't mad, Jeremy. Dude, I'm sorry if I came off that way," Rich looks at Jeremy with sincerity. Jeremy just smiles at him. 

  Christine beams at her friends' friendliness and watches out for Michael, even though she has no clue what he looks like. Jeremy yawns beside her and he grabs his phone to text Michael a joke he thought of. It's weird being friends with someone you barely knew. Well, that is if you can call Michael and Jeremy friends. Jeremy looks through Twitter, seeing if anything has happened. The answer is no, so he talks about his recent slump with Rich and Christine. 

  "Dude, you need to find some motivation," the blonde flicks a straw wrapper at Jeremy, "I don't like seeing you only eating ramen noodles, okay, bro?" 

  "Understood, bro." 

  Christine perks up when she notices a guy with a red hoodie covered in patches walk in. "Hey, Jere, is that him?" 

   _Fuck._ "Yeah, it is." Jeremy coughs to stop the nervous squeak threatening to spill out. He waves Michael over, watching Michael's face light up like Christine's whenever she hears one of her favorite musicals are in town. 

  Michael sits next to Rich, looking at all of the people sat down. "Hi, I'm Michael. I don't put it past Jeremy to have told you about me." 

  Both Christine and Rich nod in agreement. "Though," Rich begins, "he didn't say much until I mentioned a date—"

  Jeremy forces a laugh to interrupt Rich and starts a different conversation. "Christine wants to know more about what you do, Michael." 

  "Yeah, because I want to make sure you can't hurt him in any shape or form," Christine butts in before Jeremy can think of anything. They really are out to set him up for failure. 

  With a beat of silence, Michael responds, "Oh. I just review games, basically. I do other videos like vlogging and shit like that, but that's mostly it; video games." 

  Jeremy is left unsettled by the beat of silence. He sighs and rubs his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes in the process. They'd been here for at least two hours and his brain was crying for a nap. Michael is there, though, he shouldn't sleep this away. He shakes his head, trying to not just fall asleep on the table. 

  "Hey, Jere, you okay?" Rich asks, knowing that he's probably just tired. He still worries, and Jeremy knows that. 

  "Just tired. I'll be fine." 

  "Doesn't help we stayed up all night talking," Michael adds, providing a fucking adorable chuckle along with it. While Jeremy is pre-occupied with Michael, his other two friends look at him. 

  "Did Michael just say you talked  _all night_?" 

  "Is... is that an issue?" Jeremy squeaks.

  Rich glances at Christine. "We'll message about in the group chat, bro. Don't think you want us to say it around Michael," Rich turns to the adult slurping his drink, "No offense." 

  "None taken." 

  Rich nods and goes to pay for lunch with Christine, leaving Jeremy alone with Michael. Seriously?  _Why?_   He looks at Michael awkwardly, mentally cursing himself. Why'd he do such a stupid thing? Michael grins at Jeremy, and Jeremy blushes, looking away immediately. 

  Michael begins a chat with him, "So," he pushes his drink away and put his chin against his palm, his arm popping it up, "you wanna go out somewhere just the two of us?" 

  Jeremy's blush certainly did  _not_ get any better. "Y-yeah, that'd be nice..." Jeremy immediately exclaims, "O-only if you want to, though! Don't feel like you have to!" 

  "Nah, I want to. I can get to know you and look at you at the same time. It's a win-win situation for me." 

  Jeremy seriously  _cannot_ handle this. How does he do it? How is he making him blush with such ease? Well, admittedly, he blushes super fucking easily, but it seems like Michael does it more. Jeremy looks Michael in the eyes, trying to muster up the courage to flirt back, but then unwanted thoughts come in to play. What if this is all just some elaborate joke? Michael wants Jeremy to fall hard and then he'll crush him, for sure. His expression changes and Michael notices. 

  "You okay, Jeremy?" 

  "I, uh... I don't know. I'll tell you later. Promise." Jeremy writes himself a mental note to stop breaking promises. He doesn't want to break this one, but he really doesn't want to bother Michael with such a trivial thing. Jeremy watches Rich walk by and wave bye, hugging Christine and Jeremy. The short blonde just gives Michael a fist bump and leaves. Christine gives everyone a hug, though, because that's who she is. Once again, it's only Michael and Jeremy. 

  "I'm gonna bounce. Text me?" Michael asks hopefully, and Jeremy nods with a smile on his face. 

  "Will do, Michael." 

✶✶✶

  Jeremy had only texted Michael good night. He didn't tell him his thoughts, what was wrong, but worked instead. He really should tell him, but what if he just doesn't want to be friends with him anymore? What if he thinks Jeremy's crazy or stupid? He looks at his monitor. He hasn't even finished the lineart. This drawing it going  _great._ Glancing at the clock, Jeremy sees that it's nearly one p.m. Checking his phone for anything, he sees Michael texted, asking where he's been all day. Jeremy writes back a quick, "Work; art stuff is hard." He saves his progress and goes to his kitchen, grabbing the nearest pan he can find to make ramen noodles in. 

  His phone buzzes in his pocket and he digs it out as quick and as steady as he can. It's a text from Michael. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_since it's this late in the afternoon, are you hungry? if so, wanna grab something with me?_

  Jeremy almost wants to say no, he really doesn't want to get his hopes up. He sighs and responds. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_i am hungry lol you know me well_

  Jeremy got an immediate response of where to meet Michael. He threw on a hoodie he found in the dryer and clean socks. He drives where Michael instructed he to go. Jeremy listens to the playlist Rich and Christine collaborated on making and bops his head to the beat. As much as Rich likes to listen to some god awful shit, he sometimes had known a good one. Christine was full of good music taste, so he's always willing to have her make him a playlist whenever she gets bored. After landing on a Marina and the Diamonds song, he arrives and gets out of his car. 

  Michael walks over from where he was waiting and smiles at Jeremy. "Hey," Michael almost sounded astonished. 

  Jeremy smiles at Michael, "Hey,"  _Really, Jeremy? That's all you can come up with? Hey?_ Jeremy has an internal battle with himself and Michael gives him a worried look. 

  "You sure you're doing okay?" Michael questions, knowing to not pry. 

  "Yeah... Yeah, let's just go." 

  Michael nods and leads Jeremy inside. "You wanna catch a movie after this?" Michael searches Jeremy's face for anything, Jeremy does the same. 

  "That sounds fun, so sure." This really is sounding like a serious date. But.. It still could _—_

  "What are you thinking about, Jeremy? You can tell me." 

  Jeremy shakes his head, "Probably not. It might scare you away." 

  Michael frowns and just fidgets with his thumbs. Jeremy's leg is bouncing rapidly. 

  "Can... we talk about it later?" 

  "Jere _—"_

"Michael, please. I wanna hang out still, alright? I just... don't know how to tell you my thought process." Jeremy breathes in sharply. He doesn't like that he's getting emotional. "I think we're moving a little too fast right now." 

  Michael nods, and Jeremy feels more at ease. "Whatever pace you wanna go, I'll go. I wanna get to know you better." 

  "Thank you, Michael." 

  Michael sighs, "Nah, don't thank me. It's just common courtesy," Michael pauses. His face twists like he wants to ask something.

  "If you want to ask me something, you can, Michael." 

  "Can... I call you Jere? I noticed Rich and Christine doing it and I just thought it was... a cute nickname. It fits you; awkward and cute." Michael's face shows he regrets the last part just a smidgen. 

  "You can," Jeremy grins, "Micah might work for you, seeing how it's awkward and cute; just like you." 

  Michael rolls his eyes. 

  At least now Jeremy feels more comfortable around him. Maybe he can actually text him. 

✶✶✶

  It happened again. Jeremy got absolutely no sleep, and today he actually has an interview for a part-time job today. He looks at the messages, some flirty ones coming from Michael. Even though he said they're moving too fast, he saw no harm in flirting. Maybe it was weird, like Michael is doing this all for a joke. Why does Jeremy keep thinking this way? Fuck, dude, he's been talking to this guy for almost a week now and he didn't know why he was so flustered and worried. 

  While stretching out his lanky limbs, he heard his phone go off. It was two texts. One from Rich telling him he totally fucked Jake Dillinger and one from Michael saying he was sorry for the messages last night. Jeremy smiles fondly at Michael's text; the dude was too considerate. Jeremy walks out to throw some Eggo waffles in the toaster, and continues his conversation with Michael. 

  He shoves the tiny waffles in his mouth and rubs at his eyes. He needs to start wearing his glasses more often. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_i know i've told you already, but i really think youre a lit guy, jere_

_**To: Michael**  
_

_**From: Jeremy** _

_did you really compliment me by using the word_ lit

  Jeremy can't help but laugh. The only time he's ever heard lit used seriously was when Rich offered him weed. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_fuck yeah i did, youre a lit guy. but in all seriousness, im pretty fuckin glad you commented on my video_

**_To: Michael_ **

**_From: Jeremy_ **

_me too micah, im glad i know you_

  Jeremy was on Cloud 9. He really didn't know why Michael responded to his comment. He's so glad he did, because if he hadn't, Jeremy would have given up entirely. 

_**To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer** _

_**From: Rich** _

_so, we gonna talk about jeremy's crush_

**_To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer_ **

**_From: Christine_ **

_yes, lets. it's so obvious_

**_To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer_ **

**_From: Jeremy_ **

_listen,, he's CUTE okay, and nice, and a good guy. i don't have a crush on him._

**_To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer_ **

**_From: Rich_ **

_jeremy, please don't lie to yourself_

  Jeremy sighs and rolls his eyes, going back to texting Michael. Michael is in the middle of telling a story, typing up very vivid and fucking hilarious descriptions of the incident. He reads the last sent message and fills his chest get heavy and his stomach begins to flutter.

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_listen, my friends wanna meet you. is that okay? they're just like yours, wanna make sure we won't be rude to each other or break the others heart. you don't have to, dude_

  Jeremy brings his knees to his face. He really should say no, that is wasn't a big deal anyway, that nothing would ever happen between that; because that's what his brain was yelling at him to do. Instead, he answers that it's okay and asks if they're in New Jersey, too. Michael confirms and then says he's off to film a video. 

  Jeremy was really going to meet Michael's friends. Why does he always sound like a high school girl when he thinks about him? 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_good luck with filming! can't wait to watch it, micah. im glad i met you, a fuck ton._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight this probably sucks so, yeah. i wrote this at like 1 am and didn't wanna end it because: why not. so here we are. i didnt edit it because i didn't feel like it. have a good day or whatever time it is where you are currently


	3. awkward patch

  Jeremy's phone hums next to him. Usually, he'd snatch up immediately, but for some reason, he was worried. His eyes scan the screen, almost searching for something to worry him. He unlocks it to only see a text from Michael. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_finished filming! also, can we talk? like, seriously?_

  Shit. Jeremy rereads the message. He didn't  _sound..._ angry. Still, he doesn't know. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_yeah, dude, we can talk_

  His breath catches in his throat from the anticipation. He wants Michael to type out the shortest message ever, but knows that's not likely. At all.

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_what's with all that flirty shit, you know? you probably don't mean to, but it's just confusing._

  Jeremy looks at the screen.  _Fuck._ He tries to not freak, but that can be difficult when a guy you basically just met confronts you about something so soon. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_I don't know, man. I just wanna tell you I appreciate you, I guess_

  He rubs his face, picking at it for a bit. Was that a stupid response? Did that make any sense? Will Michael start to hate him? Does he already hate him and that's why he's having this talk? 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_so everything's in my head, huh?_

  Really? Jeremy makes him feel that way? He doesn't  _intend_ to. Fuck, he has to fix this fuck-up before he fucks it all to shit in the end. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_I just don't know what you mean, Michael. Please, just tell me what's on your mind._

  Was that any better? He's probably messed it up even more. With a sigh, he places his phone on his thigh. Jeremy basically falls on his ass off of the chair when he sees Michael is calling him.  _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He answers it. "Hey," his voice is clearly hoarse from not using it much during the day. 

  " _Hi_ ," Michael's response is short and clipped; not a good sign. 

  Jeremy takes a shaky breath in, "So?" 

  " _So_." Michael clearly isn't happy with him. 

  Jeremy watches his leg begin to bounce. "I'm sorry, Mi—"

  " _Listen, Jeremy_ ," Michael cuts him off, " _I don't understand you one bit._ " 

  Jeremy processes the sentence. "Wait," he scratches, "what's so confusing?" 

  Michael scoffs very audibly, " _Are you fucking serious, Jeremy?_ "

  He isn't sure if he should answer that question. 

  Michael clearly takes in a deep breath. " _First you say how you don't want to get so romantic , but whenever I say anything barely romantic, you jump right on it. What the fuck is with that? Sometimes you're confusing._ " 

  "Oh, look who is talking! You want me to meet your friends, how in the world do you want me to perceive that as? What—"

  " _They're_ friends,  _Jeremy; not my fucking family._ " 

  "You're gonna just forget about the 'they don't want one of us to break the other's heart'? Michael, I know I'm confusing as fuck, but you're sounding like a hypocrite." 

  " _You know what, you clearly don't have a brain. I'm done arguing with you. Bye._ " 

  Fuck. 

✶✶✶

  All Jeremy's done for the past few days is go over Michael's words in his head as he's worked on commissions. Was he really that stupid? Did he really have to say that shit to Michael? All Michael wants to know is if Jeremy is even fully committed to his own decision. And honestly, Jeremy has no goddamn clue. He's such a disaster it isn't funny at times. Maybe Rich or Christine have an idea in what he should do. He shoots them a text, only getting back radio silence. 

  Jeremy goes on with drawing, taking breaks for pissing and relaxing his eyes. He hears a ding from across the room, and he gets up to receive it. 

_**To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer** _

_**From: Rich** _

_jeremy, are you for real? jesus, man_

Alright. So even Rich thinks that Jeremy did something stupid. That's great. He can't think of anything to say, until Christine chimes in. 

_**To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer** _

_**From: Christine** _

_jere, rich, we should meet up somewhere. this is a serious situation_

  Goddammit, her, too? He just needs advice on how he can get Michael to stop being so pissed off at him. 

_**To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_my place?_

After getting two texts along the lines of, "Yeah, be there soon," Jeremy goes to get a glass of water. He really has fucked up. Even Christine, his friend who always tells him he's never done wrong except for one time, believes he's fucked this all up. Well, probably not. It's Christine. She'll probably give him a motherly lecture and talk, whereas Rich will straight up just tell him he's fucked all his chances. 

  There's a knock on his door, and he goes to answer it. 

  "Hey," he says, looking at Christine and Rich. 

  "Hey," they say in unison, stepping inside his small apartment. 

  Rich plops his vertically challenged body on Jeremy's cheap couch and looks at Jeremy. He points at him, "You, Heere, need to get your shit together and talk to Michael." 

  Jeremy rolls his eyes. "You think I don't know that?" 

  "What Rich is saying is you need to calm down and talk to him. He might still be angry, but you seem calmer than when you sent the text. We don't want you to lose a friend so soon, Jeremy." Jeremy smiles at Christine, she knows she's probably right. 

  "I just don't know how to start a conversation after something like that. All my past relationships or friendships, we'd argue over something and the next day they shoot me a text saying that I'm lame and don't want to be around me anymore," he breathes in, "I just... don't want to screw this up more than I already have. It's already a miracle he hasn't texted me something like that yet." 

  Rich sighs and stands up from his seat, grabbing Jeremy's shoulder. "Jeremy, dude, you're super fucking cool. Just give him some time, ask him if he's okay, and say you want to talk about what happened. It's what I do, and we've argued countless times; now look at us!"

  Christine nods in agreement. 

  "Remember when you wanted to be really cool in high school so you tried to impress me by dating a lot of other people?" 

  Jeremy shudders, "Please, not high school." 

  Rich laughs, "But, high school was the prime time of your life," the short blonde slaps Jeremy's back. "Look, dude. Just talk to him. When you're in that moment, you'll know what to do. We aren't you, so we can't do it for you."

  Christine butts in, "I would if I could, Jere." 

  "Thank you, guys. You mean a fuck ton to me." 

  Rich shakes his head, "We wouldn't be true friends if we didn't care, man." 

  Jeremy just grins to himself. "I don't deserve you guys." 

  The other two just smile.

 ✶✶✶

  Jeremy looks at his phone. He doesn't want to talk to Michael, but he has to. Really badly, he needs to. He exhales and grabs his phone without second-thinking. He just needs to do it. He can't let Michael just go away without at least an explanation. He looks at his messages.  _Fuck._  

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_hey, you wanna talk? i'm sorry about everything._

  Radio silence. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_Michael? we really need to talk. please._

  More radio silence. He really is pissed at him. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_i'm not talking over text. or phone. can we talk at your place or mine?_

  Jeremy got a response. Holy  _fuck_ Jeremy got a  _response_. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_yeah, i'll go to your place._

  Jeremy gets the address, and goes to grab his keys. He's gonna either succeed or dig himself a deeper hole; one closer to never getting out and seeing Michael again. 

  Jeremy goes to Michael's. This is a win or lose situation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's probably a ton of typos,, also,,,, the amount of times i say Fuck is AMAZING . hope you liked this lol!


	4. small touches

  Jeremy brings his hand up to knock on Michael's front door. His nerves were building up, and he doesn't know how to calm them down. The lanky young adult looks to the door. He blanks. Fuck, he should knock, talk to Michael, tell him he's so fucking sorry. 

  He bangs on the door. His breath hitches. Jeremy's left waiting outside; he hates this. He hates this so fucking much. 

  "Hey," Michael's voice shocks Jeremy. 

  Jeremy looks in to Michael's eyes, "Michael," Jeremy stops himself. He feels his throat closing. He doesn't want Michael to witness him sobbing and his infamous voice cracks. 

  "Jeremy, just come in." Jeremy obliges, and follows Michael. The Filipino man sits on a couch, similar to Jeremy's. "Dude, just say what you need to. I'm listening." 

  Jeremy takes a sharp inhale. "I'm just... so sorry." 

  Michael sighs inwardly. "Just explain yourself. I really don't understand you sometimes. I've wracked my brain trying to, but it's hard. Just tell me your side." 

  He drops his gaze to his lap; seemingly intrigued by his hands. He doesn't know how to explain it; everything he said was awful and he truly doesn't know what the fuck prompted him to say it. Jeremy looks up from his lap, breathes in, and then makes eye contact with Michael. "I just know I'm attracted to you... I know I said that we should take things slow; I know I said that. I called you a hypocrite for no reason, too. You said you want me to meet your friends," Jeremy runs his hand through his hair nervously, "I don't know why I reacted that way. I don't want to lose you so quickly, Michael." 

  Michael's tough expression drops into a softer one. "Jeremy, dude," he sighs, "you're not going to. You talked to me just now and explained how you feel perfectly. All I wanted to know is why. You didn't explicitly  _tell_ me, but I can see it. You up for meeting them, though? I'll tell them we talked about it like grown-ups and they'll be pleased to hear you wanna still meet."

  Jeremy nods, "Yeah, meeting them sounds like fun." 

  Michael rubs his arm awkwardly. "Do you wanna hug it out?" 

  Jeremy chuckles a little, but opens his arms for Michael. The slightly taller man puts his chin in the crook of Michael's neck. Fuck, this hug is really long. Jeremy awkwardly untangles himself and stutters out, "N-no homo, ha ha." 

  Michael gives a cackle and looks Jeremy dead in the eyes, " _Very_ homo, Jeremy." 

  The brunette's face just erupts in different shades of red. He doesn't want Michael to see, so he brings his arms up and gives out a loud exhale. Why did Michael do that? Doesn't he know that's  _illegal_? He brings his arms down to look at Michael, only to see he's been smirking at him the entire time. "No, s-stop. I get flustered easily."

  "Virgin."

  "W-what?" Jeremy raises his voice's volume along with the pitch. 

  "I'm just fucking with you, dude. Come on, let's play some video games while you're here." Michael walks over to a shelf that holds what seems like millions of games. Jeremy follows, they choose a game, and sit down in front of Michael's TV. 

  Jeremy doesn't remember what game they're playing, but he does remember when Michael's leg had began to touch his. He feels his cheeks warm again, but he tries to focus on the game more. Michael glances at him occasionally and Jeremy's flustered state only rises. He looks over at Michael; does he know what the fuck he's doing? The knowing smirk on his face says all: Yes, he knows. Jeremy decides that two can play this game. He scoots in closer to Michael, deliberately brushing his hands against Michael's arm; he's pretending he's just readjusting. 

  Michael glances over, his face now red, too. Jeremy grins like Michael had before and pays attention to the game. He could really get used to this. Right now, he lives in the moment, letting the small touches matter most; letting the glances warm him. 

 ✶✶✶

  Jeremy scans over the texts from Rich. He'd ended up staying the night at Michael's place. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich** _

_dude, answer my texts and STOP flirting with michael_

  Jeremy rubs his eyes and looks over to the TV. Michael was in his room, and Jeremy was on the couch. Jesus, this was a mess. 

_**To: Rich** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_look, dude, nothing really happened. we played video games_

  Rich loves teasing him, but it really does bring a thought to mind:  _Was_ that flirting? He likes to think so. It definitely was flirting from his part. Jeremy's mind is interrupted by his phone. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich** _

_i don't believe you, heere._

  Jeremy rolls his eyes.

_**To: Rich** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_you never do, goranski_

  The awkward conversation continues, Rich trying to pry information from Jeremy. Jeremy waits around for Michael to wake up, but it seems like it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. He doesn't want to leave without saying anything, but his commission needed doing. Maybe he'll knock on Michael's door. He walks over there, raising his hand to do as he thought was smart, only to get whacked in the face by Michael's door. 

  "Fuck," he mutters and backs up, holding his nose. That actually hurts like a bitch. Michael scurries over to Jeremy, telling him to look up in hurried tones. 

  "Dude, holy fuck, are you okay?" he frantically throws a tissue at Jeremy. Jeremy chuckles at him. 

  "I'll be fine," he lets Michael baby him for a bit, and lets Michael act like a worried mother. 

  Michael comes out of his kitchen with a glass of water and hands it to Jeremy. "Drink this, dude. Let me see your nose, though." Jeremy removes the tissue from it and lets Michael have a good look. Jeremy has enough time to really study Michael's features. Brown eyes colored like tree bark full of worry scanning his face, his beautiful and very clear skin, his lips close to his face, the glasses framing the eyes he now adores tremendously. "Uh, Jeremy?"

  Jeremy is brought out of his trance and looks at Michael. His face heats up and he breaks his gaze from him. "I, uh," Michael raises an eyebrow. "J-just forget it..." 

  Michael looks Jeremy dead in the eye again. "Nah, I'm gonna remember the fuck out of this," he watches Jeremy's neck begin to turn red as well. Damn. "Your nose looks okay, though." 

  Jeremy dips his head and exhales. He really needs to get out of this situation before he makes it a disaster. The man who is still super close to Jeremy just gives him a smug look and goes off to grab a snack from his kitchen. Jeremy follows, so he can possibly say his goodbye and go off to his own apartment. 

  "Hey, uh, Michael?" Michael looks up. "You have anything planned today?"

  Michael shrugs, "I was gonna hang out with Chloe, Brooke, and maybe Jake. Jake said he doesn't know if he has a date today or not.

  "Rich never mentioned one," Jeremy states plainly.

  "Whoa, wait, you mean the short guy I met when I went to that diner is dating  _Jake_?" 

  Jeremy just laughs softly. "Yeah, they're totally dating. Rich boasts about him constantly." 

  "That's one hell of a shocker," Michael tosses an apple at Jeremy. Jeremy attempts to catch it without flailing his limbs wildly. 

  Jeremy bites into it. "I don't know how. Rich is good at talking to just about anyone." 

  Michael grabs an apple for himself. They both let silence fill the room as they eat. Jeremy wants to ask about last night; about the whole leg-touching thing. Michael begins a conversation after throwing the core of his apple away, "Here's a crazy idea: Wanna come with me to meet up with Chloe and Brooke since you're here?" 

  "Well, I'd like to get some different clothes," Jeremy smiles. 

  "Oh, well, yeah. I thought that was implied. Just meet us at the address I text you later." 

✶✶✶

  He dashes around his apartment, throwing on his shoes and shooting messages to Michael, Christine, and Rich all and once. Jesus, he's a mess. He runs to the bathroom to make sure his hair doesn't look awful, but not like he had tried super hard. He just doesn't want Michael's friends to hate him. Christine sends a text telling him that he'll be fine. He smiles at it and sends a thanks, then bolts out the door and begins to make his way to the place Michael sent him. 

  For some reason, he's incredibly worried and scared, but knows he has no reason to be. The way there was peaceful on the outside, but his inner thoughts were reminding him that he's meeting Michael's friends; Michael's friends who are probably YouTubers that can and probably will make videos about this encounter. Jeremy parks and gets out, looking at where he is. He just shakes his head and goes inside the building. He's here to make some new friends, to get closer his, uh, friend? Are they friends at this point? Fuck, okay, he needs to just go in and say hi, and have friendly conversation. 

  Michael waves him over, and Jeremy smiles at him from across the room. Jeremy watches a blonde woman lean over to whisper something inside a brunette's ear. They both seem to giggle over it and Michael gives them a quick glare. Michael's the first one to greet him, "Hey, Jeremy. This is Brooke and Chloe." 

  The blonde holds her hand up when Michael says Brooke, the brunette does the same for Chloe. Brooke grins and starts talking, "Seems like you're worried about something." 

  Jeremy's eyes dart between the three. "Uh, where do you want me to sit?"

  Michael scoots over. Oh,  _Jesus._ He really is going to die tonight. He takes a seat next to him. Michael smirks at him. He  _knows_ he's causing Jeremy's head to swirl. Michael begins speaking again, "Brooke and Chlo are a thing; don't wanna have you ruin that." 

  "I don't want to, really," Jeremy says nervously. They look like they could end him without effort. 

  Brooke looks up from her phone with a frown. "Jake has a date. He won't be able to make it." 

  Chloe chimes in, "Well, more appetizers for us, then." The group laughs and Jeremy feels Michael's hand brush against his. His face reddens and he watches both Brooke and Chloe give a knowing smile. Jeremy breathes in deeply and does the action back, seeing Michael's face match his. 

  Brooke clears her throat, "So, Jeremy," she takes a sip from her drink, "what do you do?"

  Jeremy tries to find the words, but Michael's hand has found its place on his thigh. "I, uh," he takes a moment. "I do art basically. It's what I've always wanted to do, so here I am, eating cheap ramen almost everyday." He was able to get a laugh from everyone. 

  "Michael told us that you helped work on a game, too." Chloe says and grabs a fry.

  "Uh, yeah, I did. It wasn't much, though." Jeremy glances down at Michael's hand. Michael had removed it and put it back in his own lap. 

  "It must've been fun, though," Brooke claims and steals a fry from Chloe's spot. 

  Jeremy's eyes stays on Michael's hands. "I mean, it  _was,_ just didn't really fit what I want to do for money, ya know?" The two women nod in agreement.

  "Yeah, none of us thought we'd be making money from a website where we record ourselves." 

  Michael chuckles and lets his hand brush against Jeremy's again as he leaned over for a fry. 

  Jeremy's stomach flips and he glances at Michael as he has a proud grin on his face. Jeremy sighs and listens to Brooke, Chloe, and Michael talk about their uploading schedules and how stressful they were becoming. Jeremy has no idea what they're saying, but he still listens to them. Michael points to Jeremy, and Jeremy is finally paying attention once more. 

  "He wants to start doing some things on YouTube, but he doesn't know what. He's complicated." Michael says and then their waitress is over there and Jeremy orders last. 

  This evening is really going to kill him if Michael's hand keeps brushing against his leg like that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a mess and so is jeremy. hope you didn't hate this lol bc i didn't edit it one bit


	5. progress

  The chatter begins to die down as the night does, and Jeremy feels his nerves rise. He doesn't know if he should ask for their numbers. Would that be weird? He shakes his head to himself and as the other three quiet down, now looking at Jeremy. Oh, shit. Okay, well, now he  _has_ to say  _something._

Three pairs of eyes bore into him. "Uh," he blurts, looking at his thumbs twiddling in his lap. "Would it be too weird to ask for your guys' numbers?" Jeremy makes a vague gesture towards Chloe and Brooke. Their faces churn with amusement, but they wipe it off and give him a grin. 

  "No, it's all good," Brooke says cheerily and Jeremy digs into his pocket to shove it their way. After they enter the numbers, Michael looks at Jeremy. His eyes were full of an emotion he couldn't pinpoint. 

  Jeremy begins to get up, going to pay for his portion of the evening so he can go back to holing up in his apartment. Michael follows him, waving bye to the women at the table that are now too busy flirting. 

  Michael nudges Jeremy as he whips his wallet out. "That was some smooth words there," he chuckles at Jeremy's expression. 

  Jeremy rolls his eyes, "Oh, fuck me, it wasn't that bad." 

  "Eh, maybe if you ask nicely."

  Jeremy's eyes widen and he looks over at Michael with profound disbelief. "W-wait, what?" 

  Michael just laughs and says a thank you to their server, Jeremy doing the same. They walk out together, waving bye to the lovebirds once more. With a sigh, Jeremy evaluates what in the hell just happened in those few minutes. He made a joke, Michael then decided to make another; that's all. 

  "You okay, dude?" Michael kicks at Jeremy's ankle a bit to grab his attention. 

  Jeremy looks up from the pavement. "Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine. Yeah..." Jeremy rattles off and rubs at his neck nervously. 

  "You're a shit liar," the other deadpans. 

  "Yeah, I know," he sucks in a breath. How does he tell Michael how he's been taking those small touches? He's definitely seen them in a romantic light, but was that even his place? 

  Michael shakes his head, "Look, dude, just tell me. I only almost dropped your ass because you were being hella stupid." 

  "What if this is stupid?"

  "I doubt it. Hit me with it," Michael kicks at his ankle again. This time, it's more comforting than the one before. 

  Yet again, he breathes in hurriedly. "I, uh... What was with all that touching? If you don't mean anything by it, I can just forget about it—"

  "Nah, I want it to mean something." Michael becomes sheepish himself. 

  Jeremy nods, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. So, he  _wasn't_ being stupid... Good to know. He looks up at Michael, a smile finding its way to his lips. "I... I would like to hang out with you, some more one-on-one time, you know? Un-unless you don't—"

  Michael just chortles softly. "I think I can clear up my schedule. What about you?" 

  "Yeah, I can make it work." 

  They both just smile at each other before they remember they should go work on their projects. 

 ✶✶✶

  Jeremy groggily slams his thumb down on the screen of his phone. Rich's ringtone was so persistent this morning and all he wants is sleep. He was up all night talking to Michael and working on his commissions that just sat in the very old folder he never looks at. They'd decided that the days coming would be when either of them would invite the other when it seemed fitting. 

  Yeah, not what Jeremy would have went with initially, but Michael thinks it'll be best. 

  Jeremy decides he needs to at least take a piss, so he glances at his phone to see he's gotten what seems like one million texts and calls from Rich. He huffs out the breath he was holding and presses call. 

  Rich answers in two rings. " _Hey, Jeremy!_ " 

  Jeremy's ear hurts immediately. "Hey, Rich."

  " _You doing good? Heard from Jake who heard from Brooke that Michael totally teased your ass and I missed it!_ " 

  Jeremy stretches his limbs, "Yeah, I'm fine. Also, yeah, he teased me about some shit and you missed it." 

  There was a pause on the other line and then a laugh. " _Okay, I gotta go. Jake wants to go eat food. Bye, Jeremy!_ " 

  "Bye, Rich. Have fun," he starts his way to the bathroom. There's a softer bye from Rich and the line is dropped, which means Jeremy can leave his phone in his sweats pocket. Well, that's what he wanted to happen before his phone begins to go off again. He finishes his piss and washes his hands, snatching his phone out. At least it's Michael this time. 

  Jeremy beams at the message. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_hey! hope you slept well. i didn't get much_

  Jeremy chuckles at him. He already knows why, but he'll still ask. 

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_i slept, so pretty damn good. why'd you not get sleep? editing?_

  He absently wonders if his texts do the same thing to Michael. He wonders if Michael gets the same fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever he hears his phone ding; hoping it's Michael Mell who's why he's taking a break from his drawing. His phone buzzes in his hands, amplifying the grin.

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_yeah, gotta have this video uploaded soon. wanna come over in a bit?_

  Oh, fuck. He types back rapidly.

_**To: Michael** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_yeah, can i bring a tablet to work on my art n shit while we hang?_

  Jeremy gets a text saying he can and he runs for everything he needs before he showers so he doesn't forget it. He really is going to go over to Michael's place, but this time knowing there's some chemistry. Fuck, will he even survive this?

  He needs to at least hold Michael's hand before he dies. There's no doubt in his mind about that.

✶✶✶

  The lanky adult holds his limbs awkwardly and waits for Michael to open the door. He hopes Michael isn't upset with him for getting here a little early...

  "Hey, Jeremy!" Michael's cheery voice brings Jeremy's spiral to a halt. 

  Jeremy practically swoons when he sees Michael's state; messy, but still more put-together than he will ever accomplish. Michael basically pushes him in his place before telling him to get comfortable while he gets something. Jeremy's a little bewildered, but he doesn't really do much about it. He takes in Michael's living room area, seeing the posters plastered on the walls. Tons were posters of video games, bands, and reggae. It's interesting, but Jeremy's was full of the same thing; just more art shit. 

  Michael plops himself next to Jeremy on the couch with a  _thump_. Jeremy looks at him worriedly, hoping he hadn't hit his head. Michael just shrugs it off and throws something at him, Jeremy fumbling with it. He has no idea what in the world it could be, so he looks at it with caution. 

  The one word he needs to say was caught in his throat for a moment. "Pot?" 

  "Yeah. I wanted to get high with you." 

  Jeremy sets his stuff down and hands the strands back. "Look, Michael, I don't think I can." 

  Michael nods. "Ah, yeah, that's okay. I just kinda wanted to see if you'd flip and try to play a game of hot-potato with me over weed." 

  The brunette rolls his eyes. "I'm not afraid of it," he watches Michael give him a grin that tells him he thinks he's lying. "I'm just not up for it, dude." 

  Michael throws his hands up in surrender and grabs his own laptop, opening his editing software. "Oh, this shit's gonna blare so if you need me to get you some headphone so it's quiet while you work, I can."

  Jeremy sputters out quickly, "Oh, no! It's... it's okay. I'll be okay," he mentally slaps himself, "it'll be cool to see the process."  _Really_ _? That's_ what he came up with? 

  The other man just smiles and works diligently on his video, Jeremy working on his projects that were begging to get done. After submitting one that had needed only finishing touches, he feels Michael's arm continuously rub against his. He doesn't want to assume it's anything romantic, but he still does it back. He's beginning to think maybe these feelings are... hollow; not deep enough for much foundation. 

  He still doesn't know, but he does know that if Michael ever asked him out, he would die and say yes. Wait, was that a hyperbole? Jesus, okay. He needs to do more thinking. Jeremy feels Michael tap his shoulder and Jeremy looks up from his drawing. 

  "This is weird and... totally off topic, but do you want to film a video with me? I think it'd be cool! And it'd also give you more opportunities." 

  Jeremy soaks in the ramble he was just given. Him, Jeremy Heere, in a  _YouTube video?_ He swallows roughly. 

  "I mean, if you want to, I'd be cool with it. I'm just super lame," Jeremy says and watches Michael's expression for any amusement. There's a tinge, so he calls it a success. 

  "I totally want you on my channel! We don't have to film anytime soon, just whenever." 

  Jeremy nods and clears his throat. "So, uh, off topic... again," Michael looks at him expectantly. "Fuck, sorry, I don't know how to say it." 

  "I think I know," Michael's voice is soft. God, Jeremy could listen to that all day. "Hey, just tell me how you feel and what you think. We promised each other we'd do that." 

  Jeremy prepares himself. He could fuck this all up. Very quickly, too. He decides to just go for it. "I'm pretty sure I like you. A-and I know it's weird since we haven't been talking for long, but you're way too cool." 

  "I'm pretty sure I like you, too." 

  And Michael's lips are on his. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was definitely shorter lol also if you want more Me Being Gay, follow me on twitter uwu ! its demndays lol so original right! but yeah there ya go, sorry about this taking me a while oof


	6. clichés

  Jeremy's eyes grow wide, but he immediately closes them. He leans in closer; a smile graces both of their faces as Michael brings a hand to cradle Jeremy's chin and he accepts the gesture. He knows he probably shouldn't be kissing Michael, but he can't stop himself. Michael breaks away to into Jeremy's eyes. Jeremy looks back; the grin never leaves his face. Michael speaks first, "So?"

  Jeremy beams, "So..." 

  "What do you want us to be?" Michael asks bluntly. It's prominent in his voice that he doesn't mind; as long as it's what Jeremy wants. Jeremy just kissed Michael Mell. What  _does_ he want this to be? 

  "Boyfriends?" 

  "You don't sound so sure. Do you need time?"

  Jeremy sighs. Michael's the one who offered it. "M-maybe. Give me a day or so. I'll have an answer by then... probably."

  "That's okay. Take all the time you need, Jeremy." Michael detaches himself from the lanky brunette, letting him have his distance. 

  "You... don't have to do that," Jeremy mutters and watches Michael's expression become brighter. 

  "You sure?" Jeremy nods and the other man scoots closer. The lanky adult lays his head on Michael's shoulder. He's not sure if he should just say yes to the boyfriend question. He exhales and shuts his eyes. As he dozes off, he feels an arm snake around his waist.

✶✶✶

  As soon as he woke up, he processes the situation. Michael's arm is still around his waist, there's music playing in the background. Did Michael wake up just to put on music while they slept? He does't mind, but that means Michael got up eventually and decided to lay down next to him again. 

  "Oh, you're awake," Michael's voice is soft; Jeremy loves it. 

  "Yeah, I am," he sits up and feels his arm retract. "Um..." 

  "I'm gonna order some pizza. You want anything?" Michael gestures to his phone. Jeremy murmurs the short answer of "cheese" and grabs his tablet to draw. He wants to get one or two more done while he can. They're just finishing touches, anyways. 

  The living space becomes comfortably quiet besides the soft Marley playing. With a glance toward Michael, he catches him bop his head to the beat. Jeremy grins to himself and sends to pieces he just finished. 

  There's a knock at the door and Michael gets up. Jeremy would lie if he said he didn't at least take a peek. It was only a moment until Michael came back with pizza boxes, and handing one to him. Jeremy thanks him and opens it for it to cool off faster. Looking at the Mountain Dew Michael got, Jeremy leans over to grab it. He's suddenly aware of how much his barely-there ass sticks out when he leans like this. 

  Becoming flustered, he quickly sits back down and Michael breaks eye contact. Okay, well, now he knows he's not the only one looking. 

  He hastily stuffs his mouth with pizza; he really doesn't want to have a conversation in this state. He swallows some of the caffeinated beverage to wash down the influx of pizza. Michael holds back a snort, but fails when he sees Jeremy's face grow red. 

  Jeremy swallows roughly, "B-be nice to me, dude!"

  Michael's eyes grow wide and a smile grow at the same rate. Michael's laugh radiates through the room; Jeremy pouts. Michael clutches his stomach, and suddenly he's gasping for air. "Jeremy, you're going to fucking kill me," he breathes in to calm himself down, "you can't pout like that and not expect me to either A. think it's the cutest shit I'be seen or B. the funniest shit I've ever seen." 

  Jeremy smacks Michael's shoulder jokingly and Michael starts all over again. He rolls his eyes, "It's not that funny!" 

  "I know it's not, but it's just... you have... you have  _no strength. At all,_ " Michael says in between fits of giggles. 

  "Just eat your pizza, asshole," Jeremy giggles himself and stuffs his face again. He's insanely happy that they can still laugh like this; that they can be friendly even though hours before they kissed. 

  Oh, shit. Yeah, they  _kissed_. Jeremy's lips came in contact with the insanely hot Michael Mell's lips. 

  Michael is now eating his pizza in quiet. Jeremy's left with his thoughts. Michael's lips were so soft, and plump and just... perfect. Michael is so perfect... 

   _Shit_.  _Okay._ He rubs his face and breathes in deeply. Jeremy doesn't notice Michael's gaze is on him. 

  "Hey," Michael gulps the rest of his slice down, "you okay, Jer?" 

   _Fuck, he called him Jer._ Jeremy clears his throat, "Uh, yeah... Yeah. I'll be fine..." 

  Michael frowns solemnly. "Jer, you can talk to me." 

  Jeremy shrugs, "I'm just... thinking about stuff." 

  "Stuff? Jeremy..."

  "Michael, can I talk about it later... Please?" 

  Michael nods, and he smiles at Jeremy lugubriously. "We can. I'm here for you, Jeremy." 

  Jeremy simply looks down at his lap. He knows Michael's there for him, he just doesn't want to let Michael know that his mind is already consumed by the kiss they had shared, but he knows he should. 

✶✶✶

  He feels the smooth sheets engulf him as he plops his body on his bed. The ceiling of his apartment's bedroom was never changing; it was always the same. He looks across his room and hears a familiar ding. Oh, someone texted him. He swings his legs over and snatch the phone up to see what the text holds inside. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich** _

_hey bro_

  Jeremy raises an eyebrow. Rich never starts conversations like this. 

_**To: Rich** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_hey dude, you good?_

  There's a very long gap before he gets a response. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich** _

_i'm good. have u gotten dicked down yet_

Jesus Christ.

_**To: Rich** _

_**From: Jeremy** _

_no, man, i have not. but i did get kissed_

Wait, why'd he tell Rich? Fuck, now he's going to be teased relentlessly. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Rich** _

_I NEED DETAILS JEREMY_

  Jeremy rolls his eyes and sends a short "no." He places his phone back down. Then, another text, At first, he thought it's Rich, but the other string of vibration told him it wasn't. He grabs it again and reads the screen. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_hey can i tell you something?_

_i really need to tell you_

_jeremy, please_

  Jeremy sends back that he's there. Michael tells him to call him. So, he does. 

  "Hey," Jeremy says in to the microphone. 

  " _Hey_ ," Michael's voice booms in his ear; Jeremy turns the volume down. 

  "You wanted the talk?" 

  " _Yeah_ ," There's a pause, " _I really need to tell you that I really fucking like you, Jeremy._ " Jeremy takes a sharp breath in. He likes Michael, too, but how the fuck does he just say it so easily? " _Jeremy? It's okay if you don't return the feelings or something―_ " 

  "I do... I-I return the feelings, Michael." 

  There's a sigh from Michael's side. Jeremy waits for Michael to say something. 

  It takes him a moment, but there's finally a response from Michael, " _So, do you want to be boyfriends?_ " 

  Jeremy nods, and then remembers Michael can't see him. "U-uh, yeah, I'd really like that, Michael." 

  " _Goodnight, Jeremy. Wanna come over tomorrow?_ " 

  "Uh, well, you wanna come over here?" He gets a yes from Michael and they repeat the gooey goodnights. 

  Jeremy goes to bed pretty content and happy that night. He really hopes he doesn't fuck this up.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is like,, late n shit and short but lol. i had to march for a parade so That Happened and now i think i'll update this more but we never know. also, i can't decide if i want chapters to be 1000 or 2000 words long ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	7. genuine

  The obnoxiously loud knocking at his door is what wakes him up. He swings his legs over the side of his bed and trudges to his entrance. Opening the door, he sees Rich and a hella tall guy.

  "Hey, Heere," Rich barges in; he leaves the other guest outside.

  "You can come in, too," Jeremy mumbles and goes to pour himself a cup of coffee. 

  Rich follows Jeremy and gives him a smirk. "A little birdie tells me you're no longer single." 

  He blushes. "Who the fuck told you that?" 

  "You at five am, Jer. You'll tell me just about anything if I wake you up in the early morning." Rich even took advantage of the fact that Jeremy would and did completely forget that he ever said that. 

  Jeremy ignores that Rich knows anything. "So, uh, who is this?" he points towards the insanely tall brunette. 

  "I'm Jake... Uh, Jake Dillinger... man," he says and awkwardly laughs. 

  "I'm Jeremy... man," Jeremy laughs exactly the same way as Jake did. 

  Jake nods and stands near the door; Jeremy doesn't blame him. Jeremy lets Rich eat some snacks he knows he'll never crave and him and Jake are off. The parting wasn't as awkward as the meeting, so he considers that a good sign. 

  Jeremy goes to text Michael, but is shocked with an incoming message from him. 

_**To: Jeremy** _

_**From: Michael** _

_hey, what's ur address?_

Jeremy types it in and decides to watch some random YouTube videos while he waits. Some were commentary, and then he found Brooke and Chlo's channel. He subscribes because why wouldn't he? 

  His phone vibrates and he sees that Michael has texted that he's there. Jeremy feels his nerves amp up and he breathes in deeply. His now boyfriend is here to see his shit-show apartment. Okay, he can probably do this. 

  After calming himself down, he opens his door for the second time today. Only this time he's greeted with someone he wants to see: Michael. Michael has a smile on his face.

  "Hey," Michael's voice is soft and warm. 

  Jeremy beams, "Hey," It seems to be the only thing he can say. Michael enters and sits on the couch. "You want anything to, uh, snack on?" He doesn't know why he was still so nervous. 

  "You." 

  Jeremy's face reddens on the spot and he watches Michael's follow. Jeremy clears his throat. 

  "I don't believe I'm on the menu this afternoon." 

  "Weird, 'cause you should be," he responds very  _very_ flirtatiously. Jeremy wasn't expecting this, but he just rolls with it. 

  As he makes his way to sit next to Michael, he quips back, "Then you should be, too." Michael chuckles and does the most cliche thing Jeremy has ever witnessed: The whole I'll-pretend-I'm-yawning-but-I'm-just-putting-my-arm-around-you routine. He rolls his eyes, but leans into the gesture. 

  "If I move too fast, let me know," Michael interrupts the silence. 

  Jeremy just looks at him, "Oh. I'm okay with small touches and shit. I also don't mind the whole 'babe' thing, either." 

  Michael inhales deeply, "I... How do I introduce you to my audience now that we're a thing?" 

  Jeremy ponders. "Give it a month or so. We never know what could happen. N-not to scare you or anything that I wanna break up or something because I don't; we just can't really predict the future, ya know?" Jesus Christ why does he always have to ramble? 

  Michael laughs, "Yeah, I know what you're saying, babe," he smiles sweetly, "we can plan though; and I plan on having you there." 

  He rolls his eyes again and leans even closer to let Michael know he thinks the same. He might not be vocal about his feelings at times, so he hopes Michael can pick up on his cues. 

✶✶✶

  Jeremy smells food; that's odd. He must've fallen asleep while him and Michael binged some random anime he found. He gets up and makes the journey to his small kitchen. Michael's cooking, but Jeremy has no clue what; he only knows it smells good and Michael has some serious bicep game. He would totally let Michael put him in a headlock. 

  "Hey, Jer. Sleep well?" Michael puts down whatever utensil and walks to him. He stops and put all his weight on a small island table, crosses his arms, and Jeremy's eyes cling to the image of Michael's seriously fucking hot biceps. 

  Michael's smirk brings him to reality. "Oh, fuck―Uh, yeah; slept like a baby,"  _Fuck._

  "Are you that surprised I have muscles?" Michael's shit-eating grin only grows when he watches Jeremy's dart to his. 

  "I―" Jeremy stops whatever sentence was about to come out of his mouth. "A little, yes." 

  Michael continues smiling; just now less sly. "Just get some food, you dweeb." 

  "What did you even make?" Jeremy asks and gets plates for them both. 

  "Dude, it's just Hamburger Helper I found in your cupboard." 

  Oh. 

  "I didn't know Hamburger Helper could smell so fucking good." 

  Michael shrugs, "Neither did I." 

  The dinner is super enjoyable in Jeremy's opinion as they both joke and swap stories. Michael gets up to put away dishes and Jeremy shoots up from his chair. 

  "I-I'll get it!" 

  "Jer, I can get it―" 

  "No, it's okay. Micah. Let me." 

  Michael gives in and hands Jeremy his plate. "Thanks, Jer." 

  "Thank you for making the food," Jeremy beams. Michael chuckles and follows Jeremy to the sink. "Hey," Jeremy starts, "how did you know Rich? You two seemed way more friendly when I first met you in person at that diner." 

  "Oh, Rich is my gym trainer." 

  Oh, yeah; Jeremy forgot Rich actually has a job that's not dragging him to random bar crawls. 

  A silence falls over them and Michael snakes his arm around Jeremy's waist. He glances at Michael with a gentle expression. Much isn't said besides a few jokes, and they both feel amazingly at peace. They're both thinking the same thing:

_Please, don't screw this up._

✶✶✶

  Jeremy wakes up for the second time in his bed; it's just warmer than usual. Michael's arms are around his skinny and stupidly lanky frame. He doesn't want to get up just yet so he scoots in closer to Michael. Michael's grip tightens and it makes the taller man smile. 

  A yawn comes from the Filipino man and Jeremy hears his voice break the silence, "You up, Jer?" Jeremy groans in response. "You want me to make breakfast?" 

  Jeremy nods. "If you don't mind. What time is it?" 

  "Ten a.m." Michael finger-combs his bed hair. 

  "Oh," is all Jeremy says and he shoots out of bed. 

  Michael glances with a tinge of worry, but ultimately ignores it. "Do you have an important thing going on? Do I need to leave?" 

  Jeremy's head snaps over to look at Michael. "N-no, I just need to shower, that's all." Michael nods slowly and goes to find something in Jeremy's kitchen that counts as both breakfast and edible. 

  As Michael does his thing, Jeremy sighs as he steps into his shower. The water slightly burns his over-sensitive flesh, but he doesn't really mind. What he does mind, though, is his... predicament this morning. Why do these things happen to him at the absolutely worst times? He breathes in and gets it over with. 

  He decides he's  _not_ telling Michael. He steps out, dries himself off, throws on whatever clothes he finds and goes wherever Michael is currently. 

  "Good shower?" Michael asks and slides a plate of pancakes and eggs to Jeremy. 

  The lighter shade of brunette hesitates. "Um, yeah... It was a great shower." Michael gives him a look, but he just eats the breakfast. 

  All of a sudden, Jeremy's phone goes hog wild and Jeremy fumbles with it to see what the actual fuck was going on. 

_**To: 2 nerds and a gym trainer** _

_**From: Rich** _

_hey fuckers let's get drinks tonight ! invite michael and anyone else you want_

_answer my texts assholes_

_christine_

_jeremy_

_christine_

_jeremy_

  Jeremy rubs his temples. Jeremy loves Rich, but  _Jesus fuck_ was he impatient. He looks to Michael. "U-uh, you wanna go drinking with Christine, Rich, some other people I bet, and I?" 

  Michael grins, "Sure, why not?" 

  Jeremy types back a reply saying that Michael will be there and they finish their meals. Michael is sitting on the couch, tapping away on his phone and scrolling, so Jeremy goes to sit next to him. He  _wants_ to cuddle, but how the fuck do you initiate that shit? Does he just... lay down on him? Maybe that'll work. Okay, here goes nothing. 

  Jeremy practically flops his body on Michael's and Michael's immediate reaction is to laugh. Jeremy's face grows red and he covers his face. He really fucking did that, didn't he? Michael calms down eventually, but he sees Jeremy again and starts to cackle once more. 

  Okay, don't fling yourself on Michael. Noted. 

  Michael opens his arms and Jeremy snuggles closer. 

  "I'm sorry I laughed, but that shit was kinda fucking funny, babe," Michael threads his fingers through Jeremy's curls. 

  "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just don't know how to, like, say outright 'cuddle me, fucker' or something," Jeremy plants his face in his boyfriend's chest. 

  Michael grabs his phone and snaps a picture, and Jeremy perks up. He watches Michael change his phone's homescreen to it, and Jeremy can't help but blush over it. Michael really isn't worried about how people will perceive their relationship, huh? Maybe he can do that, too. 

  "Hey, send that picture to me." 

  Michael looks down and nods, goes to his and Jeremy's last conversation, and sends him the picture he just took. "You gonna do the same thing I just did?" 

  Jeremy states kind of nervously, "Yeah." 

  "That's fucking cute," Michael sighs and Jeremy looks up. "I wanna kiss you." 

  "Then do it, pussy." 

  "Will do, jerk." 

  And Michael's lips collide with his again. He suddenly remembers how great this feels. 

  Michael's hand still tangles with Jeremy's hair and Jeremy pulls Michael closer by his neck. 

  It probably would have gotten more heated if it weren't for the fact that there's knocking at Jeremy's door. Michael breaks away and groans angrily. 

  "Chill out, Michael. I bet it's Rich." Michael only rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. Jeremy opens the door to see Christine. She looks like she's on the verge on breaking down. 

  "Hey, Jeremy," she says softly. 

  Jeremy opens his arms instantaneously, "C'mere, Christine. What's wrong?" 

  "I need to tell you something." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate what i have Done. but here's an update!! i might update within the next few days but we never know. this was hella gay, and then Sad. anyways pls don't hate me lol


	8. hurting and healing

  Shaky breathing was booming in Jeremy's ears. Usually, the breathing was his; not this time. He lets himself and Christine have space; making either of them uncomfortable is  _not_ a good idea. Jeremy prepares himself for anything. He has no clue what Christine is panicked over, but he wants to help her the best he can. 

  He remembers Michael is there when he speaks up, "Do I need to go?" Jeremy looks to Christine; she shakes her head no. Jeremy repeats her actions to Michael. "I'll at least leave the room, okay?" They both nod. Jeremy watches Michael retreat to his bedroom. 

  Christine shifts her weight from one foot to the other; it catches Jeremy's attention once more. She sniffles and breathes in deeply. Jeremy is the first to break the somewhat brief silence. 

  "Are you okay? I mostly care about if you're okay." 

  Christine grins at him sadly, "Yeah," she fidgets with her thumbs, "just had a super scary realization." 

  Jeremy opens his arms for her, "You can tell me, Chris." 

  "I don't want to ruin anything, Jer. You and Michael are clearly progressing―" 

  "Christine, do you like someone you're scared to like?" 

  The answer is hesitant, "Yes. I'm so sorry." 

  Jeremy shakes his head frantically. "Christine, it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 

  "I need to," she looks Jeremy in the eyes; it's intense and full of so many emotions, "I think I like you, Jeremy. I really don't want to because you like Michael; I don't want to ruin your chances with him." 

  Does he tell her  _now_ that him and Michael are dating? Would that hurt her more or help her feel better? Maybe if he'll tell her tomorrow; they's planned to hang out tomorrow. Maybe a hint now wouldn't hurt too bad. Right? 

  "I don't think you will, Christine. You still up for drinking with everyone tonight? If not, I'll cancel and chill with you."  _Please, don't screw this up,_ he lectures himself. 

  "I'm up for it," she smiles genuinely now, "Thank you, Jer. I love you," she pauses, " _PLATONIC._ " 

  "I love you, too. In a platonic way," Jeremy jokes and it makes her giggle. He's so glad to see her smiling again. 

 

✶✶✶

  Christine was there a while longer before she said she'd better bounce so she could pick up a friend she's bringing along. Jeremy was only a little shocked. What calmed him down before she left was that her and Michael talked about theatre; just not as much as Christine and Jeremy. Michael leaves shortly after Christine did and Jeremy is now in his apartment; alone. He's usually okay with this, but it now just feels so  _lonely_. 

  He stomps to his room to load up a commission he needs to finish line art for. He might as well be productive before he goes and gets hella fucking drunk. Jeremy decides halfway through drawing the major parts that some background noise is needed. He hasn't watched or listened to a Jake video in a while. He loads one up and is definitely confused. He's met the  _Jake Dillinger_. He was there yesterday; super awkward, but nice. Now, on camera, he was screaming excitedly about some crazy stunt he's about to do. Hey, maybe it's just to get views. Jeremy can't really blame him. 

  Jeremy sighs and checks the time; 7:13 pm. He should get ready before his phone explodes with texts from Rich asking him where the hell he is and how he's missing out on total hotties. He throws on a hoodie he hasn't seen in months. It doesn't smell weird, so he's good to go. The rest of his outfit is just normal jeans, Converse, and socks from his random red sock collection. He shuts everything off, grabs his keys, and heads out after locking his door. 

  As he's stepping down the stairs, he sees a somewhat familiar face. They speak to him. 

  "Hey, are you Jeremy?" 

  Jeremy hesitates, "Yeah...?" 

  "I'm Jenna," It clicks, "Christine wants to give you a ride as a thanks for earlier. And also because she's the only one planning to not get shit-faced." 

  Jeremy nods and then asks a rather bold question, "Do you do YouTube?" He knows he's seen her on his recommended. 

  She smiles kindly, "Yup. Storytime videos are my specialty besides tea videos."

  "Lit," he says without even thinking about how dead that word is. He's pleased to see Jenna gives a cackle over it. 

  They walk to Christine's car where she's belting out  _Waitress_. Jeremy beams and knows what happened earlier surely won't hurt their friendship. 

✶✶✶

  He'd forgotten how fucking loud bars are. He searches the crowded hole-in-the-wall bar for the energetic, freckled blonde Richard Goranski. He doesn't have to search long because he's quickly being dragged around by him. 

  "Well, hey there, stranger," he stifles a snicker as he remembers how fucking tiny Rich is. 

  "Shut up, tall-ass. Let's go where our group is because apparently you fucking lost the people you walked in with in two seconds."

  Jeremy scoffs, but he wan't wrong. He was immediately overwhelmed by how crowded it was. He lets Rich maneuver him through the crowd and to a round table where everyone else is. He feels pretty okay until he sees Michael in that hella tight shirt. Michael clearly wore it because now he knows he can tease Jeremy with it and he knows Jeremy is totally super fucking in to muscles. Rich shoves Jeremy next to Michael; neither of them mind. Jeremy's eyes dart between his friends and the fabric clinging to Michael's biceps. Good Jesus, it looks like the shirt can burst at anytime. Jeremy would be lying if he said he wasn't interested in that. 

  Michael's eyes are looking him up, down, and all around; his eyes often stop on Jeremy's thighs. Eventually, Jeremy feels a hand wander to make contact with it. The two gazes meet. Jeremy gives a short nod; he's letting Michael know he's all for it. Michael's hand squeezes Jeremy's thigh briefly and he takes a sip of his drink as if he's not letting Michael fondle his thighs. He hasn't been making conversation, but everyone else besides him and Michael seem to be enthralled in a discussion on how fucked society is. Brooke glances towards them multiple times; each time she smirks. Jenna, Rich, and Chloe all do the same.

  Jake and Christine are talking by themselves and Jeremy smiles to himself. His closest friend is definitely shy, so seeing her branch out brings him joy and excitement. 

  "You've been awfully quiet to me, Jer," Michael's teasing breaks Jeremy out of a sappy spiral. 

  "Well, yeah," he pauses to take a drink of his cocktail, "I don't wanna be super obvious." 

  Michael frowns slightly. "Is something wrong?" 

  "Christine told me something at my apartment; something kinda big. I wanna tell you, just not now." He looks up to Michael. His boyfriend nods slowly and reluctantly. 

  "Did you not tell her we're a thing?" Michael doesn't seem too angry or upset. Okay, he can do this without fucking up. 

  "I dropped a super small hint. I wanna tell her tomorrow." 

  Michael removes his hand from Jeremy's thigh. Okay, nevermind; he's probably angry. 

  "Before you eve ask, I'm not angry. I've picked up on what she told you. I don't want her to be hurt because she found out because we're all over each other and you're a little pussy when it comes to shit like this." The beginning half had calmed Jeremy down and he'd agreed, but the second half hit a nerve. 

  "The fuck did you mean by that I'm a pussy?" Jeremy's voice raises slightly. He probably shouldn't have had that amount of Old Glory. 

  "I was joking―" 

  "Were you? Were you fucking really?" 

  "Of course I was, Jer! The fuck kind of person do you think I am?" Michael shifts his body so he's facing Jeremy head-on. 

  "It didn't sound like a fucking joke to me, Michael. Look, I know I have issues with confronting people, but it's not you're fucking place to just call me a pussy when I'm having a serious fucking conversation." 

  "Jeremy, it was a  _joke_." 

  "That's exactly what pisses me off about it, Michael." 

  Everyone in their group is now turned to them; worry is painted on their faces. Jeremy feels his throat close and go dry; he feels the tears welling up. He dashes out and sprints to Christine's car. 

  "Jeremy―" Jeremy blocks out Michael's voice and lets himself fall apart; he starts sobbing. Nobody else was there, and nobody else was going to come. Jeremy assumes Michael convinced everyone that he's got it and that he'll fix it and calm him down when Jeremy wants Michael to leave him alone. 

  "Michael, I don't want to have another fucking argument with you so fucking soon. This should be the honeymoon phase of our relationship." He stops himself before he starts all over again. 

  There's an audible shaky exhale from Michael; he's clearly torn up about it, too. "I don't either, Jer. So, please, tell me what I fucked up so I can fix it." 

  "Just don't call me names when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you. I thought you seriously meant it." 

  "I'm so sorry, Jeremy. I promise I'll do better." 

  Jeremy wipes at his face, "That's all I ask."

  Michael opens his arms and Jeremy immediately falls in them to cry it out for a bit. Michael hugs him tightly and mumbles sweet words to him; he reminds him that he's there. He barely remembers why he was even so pissed off in the first place. Michael just seems so...  _perfect_ and  _loving_. 

  "Do you hate me?" Michael asks softly.

  "Seriously, I don't. Jokingly, yes." Michael chuckles. He kisses the top of Jeremy's head the best he can and lets go.

  "You wanna go back or do you want me to drive you home?" 

  "Let me say goodbye to everyone," he sniffles, "I don't want Christine and Rich worrying too much; even if they’re tipsy." So, Michael waits outside as he goes in to say bye and give hugs to Christine and Rich. 

  Jeremy smiles when Rich whispers in his ear, "I'll beat Michael's ass and make him do an extra thirty burpees." 

  Michael drives Jeremy home. It's a quiet ride there, but they both need their space.

  "Would you rather me not text you?" Michael asks as Jeremy's getting out of his PT Cruiser. 

  "You can, I won't mind. Just don't make a video about tonight or whatever," Jeremy fidgets with his keys as he jokes lightheartedly. 

  "Nah, that's something Jenna would do." They both snicker at that one. "Can I, uh, kiss your cheek? If not, that's totally cool. I wanted to ask since we, like, kinda fought earlier." Michael sounds like a teenager on a first date; it's adorable.

  Jeremy shrugs and leans his cheek forward to Michael. There's brief contact, but it still sends shocks to both of them. Jeremy does everything in his power to not scream  _kiss me, asshole_. Jeremy waves to Michael as he drives away. 

  Now, Jeremy's left alone in his lame ass apartment that's full of out of print games and art supplies. 

  Sleep sounds fucking amazing to him, so he scurries to his room and lays down in bed. Crying really sucks the energy straight out of you. He puts on soft tunes, closes his eyes, and lets slumber take him away for the minimum of three hours. 

✶✶✶

  He wakes up with the explosion of texts from Rich.

_**To: tall ass** _

_**From: shortie** _

_hey wake up asshole_

_i get to yell at michael today >:)_

_be excited with me_

_r u even alive_

_jerm_

_wake the fuck up_

_PLEASE  
_

_michael is like here bro_

_answer my FUCKIN texts_

  How the hell were these all sent at six a.m? Jeremy shoots back a text that he's alive and goes to text Christine. 

_**To: theatre nerd 1** _

_**From: theatre nerd 2** _

_hey chris u still up for blaring musicals today?_

  He gets a text back that she's on her way and he fixes himself a cup of coffee. 

  He already feels this day becoming better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this chapter kinda hurt,,,,, oops  
> also i decided im tired of using "From Jeremy" and shit so now let's pretend jeremy's an old grandpa who couldn't figure it out and he just did so Bam. anyways pls don't hate me,, it'll get better (maybe) follow me on twitter [yeehaw emoji] im demndays  
> [hi i edited this a bit bc i was like Wow i’m terribly at typing]


	9. being honest

 Christine’s sitting right next to Jeremy and he’s sweating like a massive dork. She wasn’t paying any attention to him—Thank God.

 Jeremy needs to tell Christine about him and Michael—and ASAP. One problem, though: How the fuck is he supposed to go, “Remember that dude you first met at that diner and then at my house? Yeah, he’s my _boyfriend_!” with ease. All he knows is that he needs to tell her.

 He makes a mental note: Tell her _after_ the movie. They’re at least watching two more after this, so if all goes to shit, he has a plan and excuse to not talk until she has to leave for sure.

 With his luck, of course, they’d only had thirty minutes left. He remembers when that used to seem like such a long time in high school, and now it’s way too fast for him in his adult life. Jeremy sighs and looks around his apartment; he can’t meet Christine’s gaze or else he’ll _die_. He fiddles with his thumbs and his best friend looks over at him. Her gaze is way too soft and caring; he can’t handle it.

 “What’s wrong, Jer? Is something bothering you? Is it the movie?” she puts on her motherly voice and it makes Jeremy’s heart ache even more than before.

 He breathes in slowly, “I just really need to tell you something…”

 Christine blinks and her expression softens a bit. “I’m listening, Jeremy. Whatever you have to say, I’m listening.”

 Jeremy feels his chest close in on itself; it’s like his heart is going to kill itself with how fast it’s going. “God, it’s so silly. I… I’m dating Michael, sort of…” Christine smiles sadly at him. She doesn’t say much until Jeremy speaks up again, “Christine? Are you okay?”

 She nods, “I’m fine. Are you okay? Here, breathe with me until you calm down.” She begins to take deep breaths in through her nose and exhale through her mouth. Jeremy imitates her actions the best he can. Eventually, he’s calm enough to hold a longer conversation.

 “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before…”

 Christine shakes her head, “You were worried, Jer. I could never be mad at you for caring about how I feel. I dropped that huge ball on you and you didn’t know how it would affect me.”

 Jeremy looks down to her, “I just wish I’d told you sooner. I feel like this is an even bigger ball than what you dropped.”

 Christine laughs softly and Jeremy sees it clear as day—she _is_ hurt. She doesn’t want to admit it. Oh, God, Jeremy is such a mess and fuck up.

 She picks up on his mannerisms, too. “Jeremy, stop blaming yourself.” She’s stern about it, as well as stubborn, so all Jeremy can do is grin at her.

 “I’ll take your word for it, Christine. But, still, please tell me if I ever make you upset. It’s a whole lot better than me picking up signals from how you act, ya know?” he picks at the skin on his index finger.

 “Jeremy…”

 “Just… tell me when I make a mistake, okay? Even if it might hurt me.”

 “Okay… I’ll do that.”

 “Thank you, Christine. I love you,” he opens his arms for a hug. She accepts it and wraps her arms around him.

 “Anything for you, Jer. I love you, too,” she buries her face in the crook of Jeremy’s neck and they stay in that position for a solid three seconds.

 Jeremy’s proud of himself; he was able to tell his best friend something that was hard to say and hard to hear.

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jeremy needs to be sure.

 Christine chuckles, “Yes, Jeremy, I swear on Mr. Reyes that I am ninety-nine percent okay. The one percent is because you didn’t tell me sooner.” She jokingly punches him in the shoulder and he responds by laughing and flicking her lightly.

 They watch the other movies and joke around the rest of the night.

✶✶✶

 Christine had gone home about twenty minutes ago, and Jeremy had forgotten how dull his life is without his friends. No one was texting him or calling him currently, so he was left with his brain. Overall, _not_ a great thing to leave Jeremy alone with.

 Christine was hurt over Jeremy not telling her something so important—that’s indisputable. She was very clearly hurt, and Jeremy just wishes he’d said something sooner. Seeing her upset at something makes his heart churn in the ugly way and it reminds him how human they are.

 Jeremy doesn’t do much other than think. He thinks about Michael. Were they possibly moving too fast? Do they need to maybe take a break from one another? It seems they’ve argued twice in what seems like a total of three days. He ponders and sits on this thought. His ass has never left the couch, and now his legs are begging for Jeremy to get up and do _something_.

 But, he doesn’t. He keeps sitting; he keeps thinking.

 Should he talk to Michael? Honesty is important, no doubt. What if it fucks up all his chances to ever be with Michael? He doesn’t want to completely lose him; he just needs a small break from people. This whole thing has driven him up the walls. It’s not like he wants to be angry about it, but that’s how he feels. Jeremy doesn’t know who to “choose” and stay with.

 He’s known Christine for so long, but he can’t ever see her in a romantic light—at least, not anymore—and he doesn’t want to ruin whatever they have now.

 He’s just met Michael not too long ago, and they’re already dating? That just sounds… crazy. Sure, he thinks Michael is hot and that he’s funny, but it all seems so fast.

 Jeremy doesn’t want to hurt anyone any more than he already has.

 Christine never said to break up with Michael. But, she didn’t say she was happy about it, either. Oh, for fuck’s sake, why is he over analyzing everything?

 Christine’s hurt! He needs to be there for her, and there for Michael whenever he’s hurt.

 Again, are him and Michael moving too fucking fast?

 He needs to talk to him—ASAP.

✶✶✶

 Yeah, putting himself in his own little hole in his apartment without contact to the outside world besides submitting commissions probably wasn’t the best idea he’s ever had.

 He hasn’t talked to any of his friends; not even Chloe or Brooke. He didn’t talk to Michael, he didn’t talk to Christine. He even refuses to answer Rich’s streams of texts asking him if he’s okay.

 Today, though, he can’t ignore Rich, Christine, Brooke, or Chloe because they all have shown up at his door carrying booze.

 Jeremy’s only wearing really short shorts and a graphic tee, and his hair is greasier than a McDonald’s burger.

 “What are you doing here?” Jeremy asks as he pushes his fingers through his hair.

 “We’re curing you of AIDs,” Rich deadpans, “What do you think we’re doing? We’re helping you stop being so butthurt over _something_.”

 Jeremy looks at the booze Rich has in his hands. What time is it?

 Brooke seems to have read his mind, “It’s eight p.m, Jeremy.”

 This early and they wanna drink beer?

 “Listen,” Rich starts talking again, “we’re going to have a couple beers, talk to you, and then get out of your disgustingly greasy hair,” the short blonde treks over to him. “How long has it been since you’ve showered?”

 Jeremy thinks about it. “A week, maybe. I have no clue.”

 Chloe and Rich say in unison, “Jesus Christ.”

 Brooke and Christine force their ways inside and they both sit on the floor. Jeremy follows suit and sits next to Christine, and Rich sits on the couch.

 Rich points dramatically at Jeremy. “You!”

 Jeremy quirks and eyebrow in response and waits for Rich to continue. “Yes, Rich?”

 “Have a beer, my friend.”

 Jeremy takes the beverage and grabs a bottle opener. He pops it off and tosses it around, taking a sip of the actual worst thing on the planet.

 “Now,” Chloe begins, “what’s been going on with you, Jeremy? Usually, you at least text Christine about anything and she’s gotten radio silence from you.”

 His breath catches. “Look,” he takes another sip, “I’ve been thinking about shit.” They all look at him. They want him to continue. “I just… I’ve been thinking of taking a break from mine and Michael’s relationship. We moved so… fast.”

 All of their faces go to one expression, there’s no difference: Shock.

 “But, I thought you guys worked it out,” Brooke asks and frowns slightly.

 “I don’t know… I… I don’t want to hurt anybody more than I have. I just think I need some time to myself, and give this relationship the pace it deserves,” Jeremy looks at his friends; they’re all nodding along and soaking in every word he’s saying.

 Rich sighs. “Well,” he sets down his beer, “I’m here for you, man. I know I’m not as close to you as Christine is, but I’m definitely here for you.” Everyone nods in agreement with Rich.

 “Jeremy, if this is because of what I told you—”

 “Christine, it isn’t. I promise.”

 She looks down. “Are you sure?”

 “One-hundred percent.”

 Everyone brings the mood back up with stupid stories about each other, and Jeremy laughs. He’d almost forgotten how nice it is to let go and just have a good time; even when you have your own shit you’re going through.

✶✶✶

 It’s been a day or so—Jeremy never knows at this point—and he’s supposed to talk to Michael.

 Oh, _fuck_.

 He stares at himself a little longer than usual that afternoon in the mirror. He makes sure his dark circles and bags weren’t terribly too noticeable.

 Christine has been scolding Jeremy over being open and honest at _least_ six times. Whether it be text, call, or she drops by just to give Jeremy the lecture, he’s gotten it a lot.

 Jeremy looks at his outfit. A hoodie that he kinda stole from Michael, jeans, and his classic Converse. Oh, and his glasses. His contacts are past the expiration date and he has to order new ones.

 Okay, he can do this. All he has to do it talk to Michael.

 Oh, God, he has to _talk to Michael_.

 What if the first thing that Michael says is something along the lines of, “I don’t want to date you anymore because you never talk to me.”

 He watches his leg bounce and he grows even more nervous than before.

  _Deep breaths,_ he reminds himself. He cannot screw this whole thing up.

 Jeremy eventually calms himself enough to go to Michael’s. This is going to go terribly—he can feel it.

✶✶✶

 Jeremy cautiously brings his knuckles to rap against Michael’s door. He’s be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about ditching this whole idea and going home. But, after Christine’s lecture, he knows he needs to do this. Well, he knew before, she just helped him strengthen his cause—

 “Hey,” Michael’s voice interrupts his monologue.

 Jeremy panics. “H-hey,” he mentally slaps himself.

 Michael turns his body so Jeremy can come in, and Jeremy immediately feels his entire body tense.

 “Calm down, Jeremy. I’m not going to rip your head off.”

 “Uh, you might want to later.”

 Michael gives him a look. They both dismiss each other’s actions and continue on the process of sitting down to talk.

 “So,” Michael looks in to Jeremy’s debatably pretty blue eyes with his beautifully brown ones.

 “So,” Jeremy mimics.

 Michael exhales sharply. “Jeremy, just say it.”

 “What?”

 “You wanna break up, right? So, just say it.”

 Jeremy looks at Michael. Oh, now he’s a little pissed. “How in the world did you gather that? Me just saying ‘hey, I need to talk to you about something’ automatically means I want to break up with you?”

 “Goddammit, Jeremy,” Michael runs his fingers through his hair angrily, “Not another fucking argument, please.”

 “No, Michael,” Jeremy furrows his brows together, “how in the world would you gather I wanna break up with you? Where did it even come from?”

 “I’m not fucking stupid, Jeremy.”

 Jeremy rolls his eyes, “Neither am I, Michael. So, tell me, why do you wanna break up with me?”

 “What?” Michael imitates the same way Jeremy had said it before when asked the same question.

 “Michael, all I wanted was to take it slower,” Michael’s eyes widen from Jeremy’s words. “And now, that we’re arguing over something so stupid _again_ , I think…”

 “...you think this isn’t going to work.”

 Jeremy shakes his head. “I want a relationship with you; I want to be your boyfriend—”

 “Then what the fuck am I doing that’s so wrong and fucked up you are on the verge of calling it quits?”

 “Can you stop swearing at me?”

 “Why do you even care?”

 “I don’t want to get in to now, Michael. Can we please just focus on the fact we have things to work out?”

 Michael stares into Jeremy’s eyes. “What have I done wrong?”

 “You haven’t done anything. I just think we’ve moved too fast. I want to slow down,” Jeremy’s eyes dart down to his hands.

 “Okay…” Michael takes in a steady breath. “What are our boundaries?”

 “Well,” Jeremy sucks in through his teeth, “we can still hold hands, and kiss. I don’t think I want anything further at the moment. I mean—making out is fine. This whole getting really touchy with each other in public is… off to me…”

 Michael nods and reaches for Jeremy’s hand. He grasps it firmly, but gently. “Okay. I’ll stop until you tell me otherwise.”

 Jeremy smiles at Michael. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

 Michael shakes his head, “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I got really heated there. You just wanted to talk and I took it too many steps forward.”

 “Yeah, but I got heated, too.”

 “Because I was,” Michael teases and Jeremy leans his head on Michael’s shoulder.

 “I really like you, Michael. I just don’t want to move so fast that we won’t get to savor it.”

 “I really like you, too, Jeremy. I understand completely. Whatever speed you want, I’ll go.”

 Michael kisses Jeremy’s forehead as he drifts off to sleep.

 Jeremy feels content for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) so like i decided to FINALLY update this so here you go!! the star things i use to show scene/time changes are weird because ya boy decided to write this on his phone lol. okay have fun and stay safe!!


	10. being open

 Jeremy’s noticed the change in Michael’s uploading schedule; it’s less frequent. He wants to help and talk to Michael, but he doesn’t know if he wants to after what happened the last time. 

 At this point, Jeremy feels like whenever he brings up an important subject, Michael freaks out and overthinks it to the worst possible scenario. 

 They’ve been talking again and joking around; they’ve even flirted quite a lot. But, seeing Michael’s upload schedule change just worries him a bit. Especially since he’d been posting regularly for these past three months.

 He wants Michael okay, and he wants their relationship to be okay. Sure, it seems tougher here lately, but he still wants to maintain what they have. 

_ Snap out of it,  _ Jeremy scolds himself.  _ It’s only Michael. _ They’re going to be fine. Michael has asked him to come over to his place to film  _ that  _ video for Michael’s channel. Jeremy’s slightly stressing over it, but it’s not like he can help it. Michael’s fan base (though admittedly small) is going to know he exists.

 Jeremy looks at himself in the mirror; he’s wearing the red hoodie Michael gave him just about a month ago. And despite them to have been dating for three months or so, Jeremy still wants the pace to be slow. Sure, handjobs are a thing they do, but Jeremy isn’t ready for much else. Michael’s one-hundred percent understanding about it, too. 

 They haven’t fought or argued for what seems to be ages, and Jeremy’s honestly ecstatic about it. 

 But, enough playing catch-up with Jeremy’s love life. Now, he has to go over to his boyfriend’s and film a video.

 Oh, God, what if Michael’s subscribers hate him? What if they don’t think he’s right for Michael? 

 Jeremy glances to the mirror: Enough of the what if’s. He told Michael he’d be happy to do it; and dammit he is!

 After the brief pep talk he gave himself, he struts to his car while the hoodie engulfs Jeremy’s lanky frame. The drive there is quiet except for the soft mxmtoon tunes he has playing in his car. 

 He walks up to Michael’s door; he sends a text that he’s made it there. He knows full well that if he knocks, he’ll run away from this whole thing. It doesn’t take Michael long to open the door; that only makes Jeremy’s nerves heighten. 

 “Hey,” Michael whispers softly and scans Jeremy’s outfit. The taller brunette knows when Michael notices the hoodie; Michael blushes when he does. 

 Jeremy feels himself calm a bit. “Hey,” he follows Michael in to the home. It’s the same as always: Kinda smells like weed, posters of just about every out-of-print game, and music playing softly in the background. After all these months, the only thing that’s really changed is now Jeremy’s art supplies tends to stay here and he has a spot in Michael’s drawer and closet for his clothes for when he stays over. They’re so domestic, it’s tooth-rotting at this point. 

 Michael gets his ringlights, camera, and tripod while Jeremy scrolls through Twitter to look at memes. They weren’t going to immediately start filming, but they both knew that if they hadn’t done it then, they’d forget and never get around to doing it. 

 A comfortable silence falls over them, and they occasionally show each other a meme they saw. Michael’s sifting through tweets from his viewers, since he’d asked for questions for a Q&A. A lot of them are along the lines of, “Did you finally get yourself a mans?” Michael likes the tweets he wants to use, and he looks to Jeremy. He feels himself swear; maybe it’s the giant hoodie.

 “Are you ready?” Michael grabs Jeremy’s hand and rubs soothing circles with his thumb. “Look, Jer,” he sighs, “we don’t have—”

 “I want to. I’m ready.”

 Michael smiles at him. Jeremy sits where Michael tells him so he’s not in the frame just yet. Michael starts recording, sits down, says his intro, and then continues. “Now, today’s a Q&A, but there’s a twist!” Jeremy grins to him. “Today, we have a guest! A very  _ very _ special guest, to boot.” Jeremy pokes his head in and scoots close to Michael. 

 Jeremy looks to the camera and says hi. They answer questions together after giving a brief introduction, and Jeremy feels a smile stay present on his face while they film. Apparently, Michael remembers that he never told the camera what they exactly are, and he had expected Jeremy to say that first. Michael makes eye contact with him and grins; he’s silently prompting him to. 

 Jeremy inhales slowly and gives Michael a look of  _ help me do this _ . Michael shakes his head slowly. 

 “You should say it. I think it’d mean more to me if I heard it from you.” 

 “Michael, I’m scared.”

 “You wanna say it together?”

 Jeremy nods. 

 “Okay,” Michael takes Jeremy’s hand in his and looks back at the camera. “So, we’ve kept a slight secret throughout this video, but now we’re going to reveal it! Jeremy and I we’re…” Michael urges again.

 “We’re boyfriends. As in, I get kisses from you,” Jeremy chuckles at himself and Michael beams like a five-year-old at their first carnival. 

 Michael brings Jeremy in and places the sloppiest kiss to his lips and Jeremy reciprocates immediately. They part and they both laugh. Michael goes through his outro and gets up to stop the recording. 

 “I’ll edit the footage and we can go through what we want to take out and what we want to keep together. If you wanna go home, I understand. We just totally splayed our love lives out on a camera,” Michael kisses Jeremy’s cheek as he puts all his equipment up. 

 Jeremy shakes his head, “I think I’ll stay here tonight. I’ll just go grab my laptop and I’ll be back.” 

 Michael nods. “Do you want me to order something? I don’t even know if you’re hungry.”

 “Pizza sounds pretty great right now. Just no Canadian bacon.” 

 “Noted,” Michael taps the side of his head and goes to grab his phone. 

 Jeremy slides through Michael’s door and goes to his car. He’s left by himself and now he has time to fully go over what just happened. 

 He filmed a video with Michael. They talked about how they’re dating. Why isn’t he freaking out like before? This is so out of his nature. 

 He sighs and looks around his car. It’s neat, unlike his entire apartment. Michael seems like the type to have wrappers in his car, but the floorboards are way cleaner than any hospital. 

 Jeremy grins to himself and lets himself bask in this bliss. Michael’s comfortable enough with Jeremy that he wants his viewers to know he even exists; Jeremy can barely believe it. 

 His way back to Michael’s, he’s basically an Old Navy mannequin with how much he’s smiling over this situation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,, half of this is written while i had a fever (and i currently still have one) so this probably SUCKS.


	11. i love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD!!!! sorry i haven’t updated this in like a month,,, oof. i had play auditions and the cast is revealed soon for the play so wish me luck laid ease. here’s an update that’s just cute and domestic without any editing whatsoever

 One single text has him freaking the fuck out. He knows he shouldn’t be—it’s been a few weeks for fuck’s sake. Jeremy’s eyes dart across the room and he immediately feels guilt wash up over him. Michael doesn’t want him to freak. Michael just wants Jeremy to know he’s thinking about uploading it. Why is the panic finally catching up to him? Why didn’t it just appear when they filmed it? 

 Jeremy curses himself as he feels tears glide down his face and he shakes his head. His hands reach for his phone and he dials Michael’s number as smoothly as he can. Michael picks up as soon as Jeremy’s phone starts the dial tone.

_ “Hey, Jer, are you okay?” _ All Jeremy does is let out a shaky breath in response.  _ “I’m gonna come over. Is that okay? I’ll bring some video games and movies.”  _

 Jeremy remains silent and nods to himself. He doesn’t trust his voice right now. Michael says calming words as he drives to Jeremy’s apartment, and Jeremy couldn’t be more grateful. Michael hangs up and he opens the door, and Jeremy meets him there. 

 He immediately collapses into his arms and Michael strokes his head and plays with his curls. He continues whispering to Jeremy about he’ll be okay as he guides him to his couch. 

 “I’m… I’m sorry…”

 Michael shakes his head, “Don’t be, Jeremy. It’s okay. I was like this, too.” Jeremy looks up at him with a look of  _ really?  _ “Yes, really! I was super nervous about how they’ll think about us, but most importantly you, Jer. I care about you… I…” he trails off like he was going to say something else, but fought against it.

 “What, Michael? You sound like you’re not finished with your thought.” Jeremy’s sobs have stopped and now he’s wiping his face while on his boyfriend’s lap. 

 “It… it’s nothing,” Michael looks away from Jeremy’s gaze. 

 Jeremy frowns and places his head back in Michael’s chest, breathing in the scent of his place. He sighs softly and feels Michael loosen his grip. Michael lets go, and he gets up from his seat. Jeremy only watches him with a frown on his face; he knows Michael wants to say something.

 “Michael, you can tell me.”

 Michael shakes his head. “I don’t want to scare you off in any way, Jer.”

 It’s Jeremy’s turn to shake his head. “You won’t. You’ve had so many times, Michael, and each time we eventually worked it out.”

 “I don’t want you to feel pressured to say anything back to me, Jeremy.” Michael puts his fingers through his hair and ruffles it a bit. 

 “Michael—”

 “Look, Jeremy, I’ll say it soon. I just… I don’t want to lose you over a stupid word.” 

 “Michael…”

 “Jeremy, please, just drop it for now.” 

 Jeremy hesitates; he knows he shouldn’t keep pressing. He knows Michael doesn’t want to say it right now; it’ll just have to kill him inside until he is ready. 

 They sit down and watch a few movies, cuddle, eat takeout; that sort of thing. A silence falls over them, but it’s comfortable. Jeremy’s head is resting on Michael’s shoulder and he’s curled his limbs close together. Michael’s arm is looped around his waist and Jeremy sighs contentedly. He doesn’t remember what movie they’re watching, he just knows it’s one Michael has always wanted to watch. 

 He knows Michael isn’t paying any attention to the movie; Michael keeps peeking over and begins to just look at him. 

 Michael quirks an eyebrow at him and Jeremy smiles. 

 “I love you.” Michael’s words are sudden, but Jeremy feels his face warm immediately after he heard the word love. 

 Jeremy breathes in deeply, “I… I love you, too, Michael.” 

 “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I was just worried you would, like, kick me out or something.”

 Jeremy laughs at that. “Are you fucking kidding? I would never do that!” Michael joins in with chuckles that then escalate to full-blown hearty belly-laughs. 

 They eventually calm down, and Michael nervously glances around Jeremy’s living room. 

 “So, uh…”

 Jeremy mimics him. “So, uh…” 

 Michael rolls his eyes and squeezes Jeremy’s waist. “Do you wanna like, I don’t know, makeout?” 

 Jeremy blushes while also laughing at his boyfriend. He nods and brings Michael in closer. 

 They fell asleep right after.

 

✶✶✶   
  


 Jeremy wakes up with the sun killing his eyes. He’s still on the couch and Michael is seemingly gone. Jeremy sits up, rubs his eyes of any crust, and gets up to put eye drops in his eyes. He should have never fallen asleep before taking his contacts out. 

 He makes his way to the bathroom and knocks—in case Michael’s in there. He doesn’t get any sort of response, so he pushes into the room.

 He’s met with a dripping wet Michael who has wet hair, a wet body, and a towel barely wrapped around his waist. Jeremy squeaks and retreats back to the couch. He just saw Michael’s  _ body _ . His  _ mega-fucking-hot body _ . Jeremy’s face reddens as his mind continues wandering back to the image. Michael comes in after a few short minutes and begins a conversation as if nothing happened.

 “Good morning. I can make some pancakes if you want, babe. The bathroom’s all yours.”

 “Uh, yeah, pancakes are fine. I’m just going to, um, put some drops in my eyes and such. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do.” Jeremy rushes to his original destination and he slams his body against the door. Sure, he’s Michael’s boyfriend, but they haven’t really discussed shit like that. He sighs and gets what he needs done. He literally can not afford one more moment in this bathroom right now; it only reminds him of  _ Michael’s fucking body.  _

 He has to get through breakfast, though. But  _ how?  _ He’s gotta text rich. 

**_To: shortie_ **

**_from: tall ass_ **

_ rich. help. i saw michael Half Naked _

 The response wasn’t very delayed. 

**_To: tall ass_ **

**_From: shortie_ **

_ oh my fucking GOD dude _

_ listen _

_ was he ripped? _

_ of course he is what am i saying i train him _

 Jeremy rolls his eyes. 

**_To: shortie_ **

**_From: tall ass_ **

_ look dude idk how to look at him without popping one  _

 The silence from Rich tells Jeremy that he’s laughing and showing it to whoever he’s hanging out with.

**_To: tall ass_ **

**_From: shortie_ **

_ JEREMY _

_ IM FUCKING DYING BECAUSE OF YOU _

_ just like talk to him ya know compliment him on his muscles _

_ also, you’re welcome for those because i totally helped him get them  _

 Jeremy looks his phone. That’s enough Rich for now. The short blonde can wait while he mentally freaks over what he’s going to say. Jeremy decides he should talk to Michael and do what he’s doing; act like it never even happened. 

 He walks out of his bathroom and goes to Michael. He doesn’t get a word from him, so he guesses he should start the conversation this time around. 

 “So, uh, how’s training with Rich?” Such a stupid question, but it’s a question. 

 Michael looks up from the pan and smiles. “It’s good. He teases me constantly because we’re dating and shit.” Jeremy chuckles at Michael’s short story. “I haven’t asked recently, how is your art commissions going?”

 “They’re good..” 

 Michael nods and puts a couple pancakes on a plate. 

 “So, um, you saw my body.”

 Alright, be blunt about it.

 “Yeah, I did.”

 Michael clears his throat. “Did you, uh, hate it or something?” 

 Jeremy flushes and shakes his head vigorously. “N-no! I, uh, was just embarrassed and, like—” he stops himself before he says the words, “incredibly turned on.”

 Michael gives Jeremy a look. “Like what, Jer?” 

 “Nothing! Nope, it’s nothing.” 

 “Nah, it’s something, alright.”

 “Michael,” Jeremy whines and puts his head on the table. He takes a seat as Michael laughs at him. 

 He feels Michael walk over and comb his fingers through his hair and pushes the curls back. “Babe, you can say it.” 

 “No, it’s too embarrassing.”

 “Jeremy, I swear, if it’s some shit like you got a boner for me—” Jeremy flinches and looks up at Michael with wide eyes. “So, that’s what it is.” He lets out a loud chortle and pushes a plate of pancakes in front of Jeremy as well as syrup and peanut butter. 

 “I can’t believe you guessed it right on the first fucking try.” 

 Michael shrugs as he lathers his stack with a fuck ton of maple liquid. “You’re easy to predict. Plus, you’re a total fucking horndog.” 

 Jeremy pouts and pokes at his food. “I’m not that much of one.”

 Michael looks him dead in the eye. “How many times do you choke the snake?”

 Jeremy holds back a cackle and responds with, “Like, twice a day.”

 “Case and point,” Michael points at him with his fork. 

 “Shut up! I bet you jack it, too!” 

 “Yeah, but not twice every single day, babe.”

 Jeremy huffs and shoves a sliver of his food in his mouth. “I’m just a growing boy.”

 Michael loses it. He clutches his side and tears well to his eyes and Jeremy joins in, too. 

 “Jeremy, oh my fucking God, you will most definitely kill me with how fucking hilarious you are.”

 “That’s my life dream,” he quips back and Michael’s shoulders continue shaking with humor. 

 Jeremy finishes the small dish Michael made, and brings Michael’s plate and silverware to his sink. Maybe he’ll wash them in three days, who knows. 

 Michael looks deep in thought whenever he comes back and Jeremy feels worry bubble in his stomach. 

 “Michael? You okay, babe?” 

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m just thinking about something.” 

 “Is there anything I can help with or something? I don’t know, it looks hella serious.” Jeremy sits down next to him. 

 Michael shrugs. “I, uh, wanted to ask you if you wanted to move in with me, maybe?” 

 Jeremy smiles. “Maybe. Let me think about it for a bit, okay?” Michael nods. 

 “It was just a thought when we were eating those admittedly amazing pancakes and I went, ‘I’d love every morning to be like this.’” 

 Jeremy grins softly. “Me, too. It’s just a huge step in our relationship. Give me a week or so, okay?” 

 “Definitely. Don’t feel pressured or anything to tell me yes or something because honestly I don’t really mind.” Michael looks up at Jeremy from his gaze on the tabletop. 

 “I love you, Michael.”

 “I love you, too, Jeremy.” 


	12. new promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so before you read this please take note that i set this up a few months after chapter 11! thank you!

 It’s a warm morning for winter, and Jeremy’s helping Michael with heavy stuff. Why did he have so much shit in that one tiny apartment? Michael has been beaming with joy and was jumping around excitedly all morning when they first woke up, and Jeremy’s been dead tired and dreading this day. 

 He knew how much shit he had. He just didn’t want to move it all.

 Michael, being the greatest boyfriend he can be, offered to do it all by himself, but Jeremy immediately shot that one down. So, now, they’re lugging in a desk from Jeremy’s old place. 

 “Hey, Jer,” Michael calls while Jeremy has his back turned to him to open the door. 

 “Yeah, Micah?”

 “Your ass looks great from here.”

 “I—Stop looking and just help me, you dick.” 

 Michael chuckles in response and Jeremy successful kicks the door open. They waltz in, plop the desk down in a room Michael cleared out, and go back for boxes of Jeremy’s art supplies. There wasn’t much, but it was still more than Jeremy needed. Michael takes away a few boxes from Jeremy and runs before he can say anything about it.

 They haul in the rest and wave bye to Jake in his truck, with Rich in there as well. They had helped too, just not much. The both of them sneaked off a couple of times and both Jeremy and Michael didn’t want to bring it up to them. 

 So, now, it’s just Michael in Jeremy in their newly shared home. Michael still has a smile plastered on his face and it seems it will never go away at this point. 

 Michael sighs happily while he rips open a box next to Jeremy. “I finally get the spend every morning waking up to your face.”

 Jeremy blushes of course and he grins shyly. “I’m glad. I get to wake up with your beefy arms around me.”

 “Ah, you’re only in it for the muscles, aren’t you?”

 “Hmm.. there’s other things.”

 “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

 “Michael, do I really have to say?” 

 “Is it my dick?” 

 “ _ Michael. _ ” 

 “It is.”

 Jeremy rolls his eyes and goes to his designated room that he calls “Jeremy’s Nerd Room But Also He Draws Here.” He starts setting up posters he likes still and once Michael brings in the rest of his art supplies, he organizes it. Michael told him he’d set up his computer tomorrow while Jeremy had Christine over for a movie night. 

 Jeez, they’re so domestic. 

 Jeremy walks out of his man-cave and throws himself on his new couch. His boyfriend shortly comes after him and exhales happily. 

 “Hey, babe?” 

 Jeremy looks over, “Yeah?”

 “You, uh, wanna go out and eat something after you finish putting your clothes up or something?” 

 “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Jeremy walks over, receives a kiss from Michael, and finishes what he needs to do. He keeps it organized by color; he wouldn’t be able to stand it if it weren’t. 

 It’s silent while he does so except for Michael’s singing from the other room. It all feels like home, like he belongs here. It feels like he’s meant to be here and meant to be with Michael; it feels like this is how his life is supposed to be. And to think they met because Jeremy commented on a video Michael made about a game he’d worked on years ago. 

 It’s all so perfect; it’s all so peaceful and harmonized. 

 Jeremy finally gets done and goes out of their room. He sees Michael on the couch, no longer singing, with his leg bouncing rapidly. 

 “Hey, Michael… are you okay?” he leans over and watches Michael nod his head. 

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I have a question, though.”

 “Go ahead and ask.”

 “Is it okay if I bring a camera? There’s something I wanna record while we’re out.” 

 Jeremy nods and Michael goes to get it. Next thing Jeremy knows, they’re in the car and Michael’s leg is bouncing again. 

 “Babe,” Jeremy places his hand on the knee, “are you sure you’re fine?” 

 “Yeah, I am.” Michael looks over and smiles half-heartedly. 

 The rest of the car ride is silent while Jeremy leaves his hand there. 

 

✶✶✶

 It’s awkward. There’s obviously something on Michael’s mind, but he refuses to tell Jeremy. It’s okay. It’s probably nothing. They sit down and order their food; Michael seems calmer now. They’re finally talking right before their food arrives and that’s when Michael stops again. 

 Jeremy wants to pry, but he knows he shouldn’t. He should let Michael come to him and talk to him about it with no pressure. Jeremy picks at his macaroni and cheese while Michael nibbles on his fries. Michael takes a sip of his soda and wipes his hands on his napkin. 

 “Here goes nothing,” is all Jeremy can make out of small whispers before Michael looks him in the eye and slowly gets out of his chair. “Jeremy Heere.”

 “Michael Mell.” Jeremy quips back and Michael smiles at him. 

 “So,” Michael’s hands start shaking. Jeremy can see it clear as day. “I, um, have a question to ask you.” 

 “Okay, ask it.” 

 “Okay, but can I, like, give you this deliciously romantic and long speech about how much I love you first?” 

 “Michael, are you—”

 “I dunno, Jeremy, am I?” 

 “Michael, ask me! Oh, my God, ask me!” Jeremy feels tears prick at his eyes and a grin tugs at his lips. 

 Michael gets on one knee. He pulls out a ring box. He asks the six special words. “Jeremy Heere, will you marry me?” 

 “Yes, you big goof! Of course!” Jeremy flings himself at Michael and they hug and kiss and all the lovey-dovey shit you’re supposed to do. 

 They both laugh and Jeremy begins to sob whenever Michael slips the ring on. 

 “I love you,” Michael whispers.

 “I love you, too, Michael.” 

 They finish dinner, they pay, and Jeremy can’t wait until they get home so he can tell Christine. 

 

✶✶✶

 

 “ _ You’re what?! _ ” 

 “Engaged! I’m engaged!” 

 “ _ Oh, my gosh, Jeremy! What the heck! I’m so happy for you, I feel like I’m going to cry! _ ” 

 “Chris, please don’t. It’ll make me cry and I’ve cried so much because I’m so happy.” 

 “ _ I can’t believe you’re getting married before me. This is unbelievable. _ ” 

 Jeremy chuckles and they talk for a good thirty minutes about other things and they hang up. 

 And now, it’s time for bed. 

 And Jeremy gets to sleep in his new bed that he shares with the love of his life—his fiancé. 

 He couldn’t be happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAA!!!!! i’m so happy about this chapter even though i didn’t edit it whatsoever. i just like writing fluff now and it’s weird 🤠


	13. husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet again, set after a few months or so!

 He’s panicking.  _ Again.  _

__ He wants this to be perfect—actually, he  _ needs  _ it to be perfect. His dad’s here. Michael’s moms are here. So, yes, he one-hundred percent needs this to be absolutely fucking perfect. 

 He wouldn’t be freaking out so much if it was just Christine, Rich, Jake, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna. He wouldn’t. Sure, he’d freak, but not this bad. He’s already soaked two shirts in his sweat and he want to get back home without anymore worrying. He wants to be home with Michael and just lie there until they pass out after laughing their asses off because they watched the latest meme for ten hours. 

 Jeremy takes a deep breath in. He can do this. He looks over to the mirror, slicks down his cowlick one more time, and checks his face for any pimples again. He knows there’s going to be at least one no matter what he does, but he still worries. There’s chatter outside and down the halls, but it’s silent where he is. Christine’s in the room with him. She’s quiet too. 

 “Chris,” he breathes slowly, “I dunno if I can do this.”

 Christine smiles at him sadly through the mirror. “Jer, you got this. I promise.” Her dress is beautiful. It’s blue, plain and simple. She refuses to wear heels no matter what and Jeremy respects that. Whoever Christine ends up with will definitely be the happiest person on the planet. 

 “Christine—”

 Rich barges through the door and jumps up. Jeremy’s hands fly out to catch him, but Rich latches himself on to Jeremy’s back. 

 “Yo, Jeremy! How’s it goin’? You freakin’ yet?”

 “Rich, please—”

 “You are! Ha! I knew it,” Rich gets off and helps straighten Jeremy’s clothes. “Look, man, you’ll be fine.” 

 Jeremy shakes his head no and Rich laughs. 

 “Rich, why aren’t you with Jake?” Christine asks and shoves Jeremy out of the way so she can check her hair. 

 Rich rubs the back of his neck. “He’s with Michael and I, uh, didn’t really wanna be there because I’d rather be with Jer.” 

 Jeremy rolls his eyes and feels pain in his eyes. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mumbles under his breath and he begins to blink rapidly. 

 “What’s wrong, dude?” 

 “My contact,” Jeremy mutters and leans over to the mirror to fix it. “Ah, shit. I’m gonna have to take it out.” 

 “You need any help?” Christine offers and Jeremy shakes his head no. He gets it with ease, but now half of the world is a blurry mess. 

 “Do we have any solution?” 

 “Nah, man.”

 “Fuck. Okay.” Jeremy looks up for a bit to let his eye adjust, and then he plops it back in. 

 “You good now?” Rich asks and stands next to Christine to check his suit. 

 Jeremy nods and goes to get his blazer on. He feels back to the mirror. Christine and Rich smile at him; there’s no longer and sadness. It’s all just happiness. 

 Jeremy feels tears threaten to spill because he’s so happy and so lucky. “I love you guys.” 

 “I love you, too, Jeremy.” Christine hugs him.

 “I love you, too, man. Platonically.” Rich joins in.

 “Of course, dude. Platonic love is the best.” 

 They all separate and Jeremy wipes away the tears that did manage to escape. 

 “Now,” Rich slaps his back. “Go get married, you loser.”

 

✶✶✶

 

 The area isn’t traditional one bit. The most traditional thing about the place is they’re outside, and the friends and families are there. There’s video game references everywhere, the seats are those little kid chairs that were poorly made but had cool cartoon characters on them, there’s cupcakes with musical references, and let’s not forget the cake. The cake was entirely made up of Jeremy’s comment on Michael’s video. The chairs this evening was Spider-Man, and Jeremy smiles as he watches Jenna, Brooke, and Chloe take a seat in them.

 Michael’s at the end of the walkway. He looks just as nervous, if not more. Jeremy watches him wipe his palms on his slacks multiple times and fidget with loose strands of hair on his forehead. Jeremy has to use all of his strength to not go out there and hug Michael right now. 

 Christine is standing near Michael, but on the side Jeremy will go. Rich is there, too. Jake is standing next to Michael, seemingly whispering words of encouragement. Jeremy feels his stomach churn and he wants to vomit. This is so nerve wracking. 

 “Hey, kiddo,” Jeremy’s dad places a hand on his shoulder. “How you holding up?”

 “Awful.” 

 He brings him in for a hug, and Jeremy reciprocates it immediately. 

 “You’ll be fine. Michael clearly loves you or else he’d probably send you away years ago.” 

 Jeremy nods and chuckles softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just worried about what happens after we’re married, you know?” 

 “Eh, who cares,” he shrugs and gets a cue from the organist. “Look, Jer, I’m walking you down the aisle and you best believe I’m gonna enjoy this. I love you, Jeremy.” 

 “I love you, too, Dad.” 

 The music starts. They loop their arms together. They begin walking.

 Everyone stands up and smiles sweetly and happily at them, and Jeremy sees Michael even tear up a bit when they make eye contact. Jeremy feels the tears fall and he grins through them when he steps up next to Michael under the chuppah. 

 The minister looks at them and nods, letting them know that if they need time they have it. Michael reaches for Jeremy’s empty hand that isn’t holding the bouquet. They lock fingers and they look in each other’s eyes. 

 The minister goes through what they need to, Michael and Jeremy say their vows, glasses are placed next to them, and then they’re pronounced married. 

 They kiss and break the glasses with a laugh and everyone cheers while clapping.

 They’re married now.

 He’s now Jeremy Heere-Mell. 

 

✶✶✶

 

 It’s a couple nights later and they have the window open while they lie in bed. Jeremy has his head lying on Michael’s pec while he plays with his curls. Jeremy sighs and feels his husband’s other hand snake down closer to his ass. 

 “Michael,” he hums and looks up. 

 “Jeremy,” Michael teases and kisses Jeremy’s cheek. 

 “I can’t believe you’re my husband.”

 “I can’t believe it either, Jer. You’re so perfect.”

 Jeremy rolls his eyes and rubs them. He rolls over to get his glasses, but Michael pulls him back. 

 “I wanna read a book.”

 “Just sleep, babe. You can read in the morning.” 

 Jeremy sighs and nods, going back to his husband. 

 Man, he really loves that word.

_ Husband.  _

 He repeats it to himself while he drifts off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re approaching the end of this fic and i’m sure as hell gonna miss it. i didn’t edit this but like i still love it. i love writing fluff for these boys and wanted it out as soon as possible :,)


	14. domesticity

 Michael’s setting up the camera and ring lights while Jeremy sits on a chair and looks at the ring on his finger. Michael hums a Bob Marley tune like usual as a smile creeps its way to his face. Michael has yet to tell his fan base that he was getting married; he wanted to keep it a surprise. Of course he dropped hints and some fans caught on, but he still wanted everyone to be a little shocked.

 Michael gives Jeremy a thumbs up and he starts the camera, scurrying to sit next to his husband. Michael smiles widely and laces his fingers with Jeremy’s, showcasing Jeremy’s ring. 

 “One…” He begins counting down. 

 “Two…” Jeremy joins in this time.

 “Three… We’re married!” They exclaim in unison. They both giggle and Michael kisses Jeremy’s cheek briskly, leaving him to smile like an idiot. 

 Michael starts a conversation with the audience. “So,” he takes in a deep breath, “I’m a married man.” 

 “And so am I, Michael. We’re in this  _ together. _ ” 

 He rolls his eyes and continues. “Yeah. We’re married now and we never told you guys when we got engaged or anything. I wanted it to be a surprise!” 

 Jeremy nudges Michael jokingly. “So did I. I just didn’t want to wait until a month after our wedding.” 

 “But… I love making them wait.”

 “Michael,” Jeremy shakes his head. “We haven’t been giving them enough content.” 

 “Well, yeah,  _ duh. _ That was  _ kinda  _ the point,” Michael beams to the camera after the banter he exchanged with his partner. “Anyways, we’re going to tell you  _ all  _ about it! I’m pretty sure my moms got some footage of us sealing the deal and then breaking the glass.” 

 Jeremy nods and Michael explains how he’ll add in footage if he ever gets it, and then they record the outro for later. 

 “Expect a newlywed Q&A!” Jeremy shouts and Michael repeats no rapidly. 

 “There will be sexual questions and I am  _ not  _ getting demonetized  _ again. _ ” 

 “Babe,” Jeremy teases, “you know this video will probably get demonetized too, right?” 

 “Damn, YouTube sucks sometimes.”

 “You chose it. I’m sticking with my art.” 

 Michael gets up and stops recording, and then retreats back to his husband’s warm embrace. 

 “Usually I’m the one spooning you, Jer,” he hums into Jeremy’s chest. 

 Jeremy chuckles, “Even though I’m taller, yeah.” 

 Michael shakes his head no, and they stay like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s warmth and love. 

 Cheesy shit, they know, but it’s just who they are as a couple, really. Jeremy sighs into Michael’s hair and Michael gets up, declaring that he needs to edit the video. 

 Jeremy knows he should work on his own craft too, but he would much rather stay with Michael. So, he does just that and Michael props his laptop on his lap, while Jeremy lays his head lazily on Michael’s shoulder. They remain silent except for Jeremy humming a show tune that he had stuck in his head. 

 Michael looks down and grins at him lovingly. He plants a soft kiss to his husband’s curls and hears him doze off. All he can do is continue to smile and eventually join him in slumber. 

✶✶✶   
  


 Jeremy wakes up and immediately groans from the icky taste of his mouth. He stretches his limbs out as far they will go until he hits something. Jeremy hurriedly gets up and hears a grunt. 

 “Babe… why’d you just sock me?” Michael chuckles lightly and sits up and stretches as well. 

 “I didn’t mean to! I was stretching and then—”

 “Babe,” Michael interrupts his babble, “I know you didn’t mean to. I’m just teasing you.” 

 Jeremy sighs in relief and watches Michael get up from their couch. 

 “What are you doing?” 

 “Making dinner. Someone’s gotta feed us.” 

 Jeremy nods in agreement and follows him. He enjoys watching Michael cook because he gets a good look at his beefy arms. Michael does the usual and throws his hoodie somewhere else that Jeremy will have to take note of and grabs ingredients. 

 Jeremy leans on the counter after getting a cup of water and sips on it while watching. Michael’s muscles look  _ really  _ good to him in this lighting. Michael isn’t paying attention—which is good—and Jeremy stops his mind from going places he does  _ not  _ want it to go. At least not right now. 

 It’s silent while Michael cooks and Jeremy hums show tunes to himself while the scent of food lightly fills the room. The clanking of glass is heard as Michael sets down the plates. He fills them with food, and then slides one to Jeremy. 

 “You remember where I threw my hoodie?”

 See, he knew he would have to remember.

 “You threw it over there,” Jeremy points lazily and stabs his meal while his husband goes to retreat his favorite article of clothing. 

 Michael plops down next to Jeremy and they eat with minimal small talk. They’re comfortable with silence now. And it’s weird to both of them that they’re comfortable with it. 

 Out of nowhere, Michael asks a heavy question. “Do you ever think about wanting kids?” 

 Jeremy looks up from his plate. “Uh, no. I haven’t really given it much thought. Kinda have always thought I’d be a terrible dad, ya know?” 

 “You wouldn’t be,” Michael reassures and Jeremy only shrugs in response. 

 “Well, maybe one day we’ll discuss it more. I just wanna enjoy my food with my loving husband right now.”

 “That’s a reasonable request.” 

 

✶✶✶

 Jeremy wakes up in a cold sweat from a dream where him and Michael were raising a child on their own, along with so, so many dogs. He wasn’t scared of the concept, it was more he was scared how he was acting. He wasn’t wearing pants and their child would frequently be asking to play but Jeremy would always dismiss them saying that he had work to do when he was just watching TV. 

 Jeremy feels Michael’s grip around him loosen, letting him know that he was awake too. 

 “Babe?” Michael croaks and squints up at him. 

 “Shush,” Jeremy lays back down. “Just go back to bed. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

 “Just because I’m uploading the video doesn’t mean it’s gonna be a big day,” Michael murmurs and buries his face in Jeremy’s neck while holding his husband’s waist. 

 Jeremy smiles and pulls the blankets back up more comfortably. “I classify it as such.” 

 “Yeah, but you make a big deal out of everything.”

 “I do  _ not. _ ”

 “You’re legit doing it right now, Jer.”

 Jeremy chuckles and just drifts off to sleep with Michael, listening to him hum a tune before conking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short and sloppy one, but a needed one. i love them sm and i’ve missed this fic :,) i’m so sad that it’s coming to an end


End file.
